Matthew McConaughey credited as playing...
- Ed Pekurny: Where's Ma?
- Al: She's in the kitchen. I'd yell for her but... I'd die.
- Ray Pekurny: You know, how many chances do guys like you and I get?
- Ed: I don't know.
- Ray Pekurny: That's right, you don't know.
- [talking about Ed's dad]
- Ed: He cheated on you?
- Ed's mother: Well, he had medical problems, he said the woman he was with was a nurse.
- Ed: And you believed him!
- Ed's mother: Well, she had white shoes.
- Ed: So does Grandma! So does Sahquille O-Neil!
- Al: How about sex?
- Ed: I'm sorry, Al, but I'm gonna have to pass. And it's not an age thing, 'cause you are still a handsome man.
- John: I was at this comedy club last week and this comedian says "If you're over thirty and your job requires you to wear a name tag, you screwed up your life." And I'm laughing and then I realize I wear a name tag.
- Ed: So do I. So what? I'm doing all right.
