Kiss of the Tarantula

Susan is a young girl who had always had an fascination with spiders, but her mom didn't like it. After finding out she had planned to kill her father, just to be with his brother. She scares her mother to death by releasing a Tarantula on her. Years have past, Susan now has a big collection of pet Tarantulas, but one night some hoons come into the mortuary where she lives with her father, to steal a coffin and but they kill one of her spiders. Now she what's to take revenge on those who were involved by releasing her pets onto them. But that's one of her worries, as her sly uncle is now trying to put the moves on her.

While searching around in a second hand shop for some unknown films, I came across this little oddity which was called "Kiss of the Tarantula". Well, I liked the look of the front cover of the video case and the synopsis sounded like great b-grade, drive-in 70's feature. Paid my $2 for it, later I watch it that night and I gotta say that this little tale was a fair treat. Not great, but fair is best the way to put it.

This simple-minded low budget horror flick had an innocently sweet tone to it, and you'll definitely be thinking of "Willard" (1971), as they shared definite similarities. Just this time it's the spiders turn. Also it adds a twinkle of "Carrie" (1976) into the equation too. But in that case, it doesn't match the thrills of those particular films. It skewed more towards a glum melodrama actually, with the creepy crawlies playing second fiddle to Susan's troubles with her devious uncle. I guess that's just the way the plot plays out, as it seems to lose interest in the tarantulas, because they don't even pop up in the third act. Though saying that, just the look of a hairy spider makes my skin crawl. But here that wasn't always the case, yeah there are some eerie scenes like a grisly panic caused by the tarantulas in a car and a pulsating air vent scene (..now that was eerie). But these were more provoked by panic and you somewhat laugh because its basically silly watching the spiders crawl all over their initial victims. Nothing is totally horrific about the hysteria laced attacks, but more so... freaky. Mainly for a person who has arachnophobia. Most of the time Susan's either pondering around, caressing with her fingertips and talking to them! Suzanna Ling is rather gorgeous as Susan Bradley and Eric Mason is notable as Walter Bradley. The rest of the amateurish cast, I was surprised, they gave above average performances. Though, there were one or two characters that seem to vanish, after thinking they might have more of a role. The dialogue is stilted and the direction is mostly dour with the exception of a couple lines of added irony, but the minor production to a certain agree still generates a surprise or two that sticks with you. That really goes to the cleverly illustrated climax that effectively packs a killer punch. Backing all that up is an electronic score, which did at times settled the mood, but other times came across as unbalanced with rather odd choices and placement. If your looking for something cheesy, you won't find it here, because it takes itself rather seriously. It does comes across like a TV feature, but still it doesn't hamper proceedings.

A reasonable time waster, but don't expect a whole lot of spider terror.

1975's "Kiss of the Tarantula" may have been easily overlooked in its day as a low budget drive-in quickie, but in recent years is gaining momentum as a cult item. As a two time solo feature on Pittsburgh's Chiller Theater (Nov 22 1980 and Aug 6 1983), I was familiar with it at the time but had long forgotten the details, not surprisingly. The only horror film shot in Columbus, Georgia, it didn't do the kind of business it was expected to, a cast of local unknowns with one Hollywood import, Eric Mason, a TV veteran cast as town sheriff Walter Bradley and uncle of teenage Susan (Suzanne Ling), whose father John (Victor French lookalike Herman Wallner) is a mortician, one reason why she's been shunned by classmates and branded as weird. A more understandable reason is her total devotion to her pet tarantulas, enabling her to kill her abusive and unloving mother, who was plotting with Walter to murder her husband, his own brother. This knowledge is also known to Susan, who grows into pretty womanhood with her uncle's unwanted advances becoming more creepy over time. After classmates accidentally kill one spider in her home, she sets the others loose on them in a parked car at the drive-in (double billing "Dirty Harry" and "Magnum Force"), unable to get out of their vehicle before fatally succumbing. The two people who suspect the truth soon meet their dooms, the first in claustrophobic fashion, the other strangled by the brutal sheriff who knows his niece is responsible but still desires her for himself. The climax is certainly fitting, but leaves the viewer feeling rather empty, no characters to identify with or root for. The central figure of Susan is never developed to any likable degree, glimpses of remorse not enough to register beyond the surface. This is the critical lack preventing audience sympathy for her, unlike better known protagonists such as Willard or Carrie. The film pretty much ends with Susan unsuspected and free to continue, with all her enemies dead, yet this provides no satisfaction for the audience, left only with the pervasiveness of unease. In that way the picture does succeed in its modest approach and rural atmosphere, pretty much the definition of a cult film.

If seeing a man play a creepy, unattractive, hair-hat-wearing corrupt cop who's an incestuous uncle a little too convincingly is your thing, your ship came in and has been at the docks for decades! Otherwise, the movie is just tedium and people hilariously spazzing out and killing themselves over spiders that pose them no real harm.

When you look at the poster or the VHS cover, you think this is going to be some kind of horrible boring B movie that flunked before it even hit theaters. Well, in some ways it's absolutely ridiculous. Other ways, it's frightfully disturbing and suspenseful. The Tarantulas used are actually a quite expensive and sought after species, the Mexican Red knee. Completely harmless, we make the venom of these spiders look like they can kill virtually in an instant. That's silly to me, but to others it might prove quite chilling. The crazy part is the family life of the poor young woman. Incest, murder, bullying, I'm amazed the poor girl wasn't in an asylum. I'll say this much, this film will leave you with your mouth agape in disgust and amazement. I really liked it.

From the first scene, little Susan seems troubled and is fascinated with spiders. She considers them her pets. And why not? Mom has all of the warmth and maternal love of one of dad's corpses on a slab. Dad is a mortician and full of love for his daughter. The actress playing mom is pretty stiff in her role (no pun intended) and actually seems much too old for the part she is playing. She is having an affair with her husband's brother, a cop. Susan overhears mom talking on the phone, figures out who she is talking to, and overhears their plans to kill her beloved dad.

So Susan waits until mom is asleep and puts her pet tarantula on her. Mom awakens, doesn't jump out of bed, just lays there in terror, and then has a heart attack and dies. Mission accomplished. Dad is safe. Susan grows up. Her age is never specified, but it seems that she is in high school because she is walking to school with a backpack. Although, like mom, she seems about ten years too old for the part. By this time Susan has many tarantulas as pets in the basement and she is still the apple of her dad's eye.

Pretty soon Susan is solving all of her problems with bullies and the kids who broke into the mortuary and killed one of her pets spiders by planting spiders on them when and where they least expect it. In every case they don't run away, they just sit there screaming with the spiders crawling on them and die of a coronary. Never have I seen so many healthy young people die of heart attacks.

Now that Susan has matured, Dad's lecherous brother begins to have the hots for her, bothering her and getting just a little too affectionate. Blech! The girl is your niece! To make matters worse he's the local DA, and he and the cops are stumped at all of the deaths occurring around town. To make matters even worse he wants to run for state Attorney General. But for some strange reason he sends his brother out to campaign while he shadows Susan with his tongue dragging the floor. Usually voters want to hear from the candidate, not his brother.

This all comes to a head with the DA committing a terrible crime himself, and Susan wreaking a completely ironic justice upon the guy that for once did not involve her spiders.

The dialogue is wooden and the acting uninspired. And then there is the case of the high schoolers that look like they are in their 30s and the convenient way all of the victims die at the sight of a spider. However, this is a case of something you just don't see anymore - an independent low budget film with actors so anonymous you wonder why they bothered to give them names in the movie different from their actual names. For several of the players I think this was their only credited role.

For me, it is an artifact of the last days of drive ins, and for that reason I enjoyed it. It is so authentic, so not mass produced, so something that no movie studio would have any part of today that it is just a guilty pleasure of mine. Your mileage may vary.