The Bogus Witch Project

This movie made me want to write a haiku about it:

"An awful movie

torturing me to the end

very few laughs here!"

There is only one segment about this movie that I thought was truly funny (The Willie Witch Project), and unfortunately, you have to sit through most of the movie to see it. Having sharp pieces of bamboo inserted under my fingernails seemed more preferable.

Please avoid this movie and save your sanity!

Pauly Shore (off California Man) stars for about 10 minutes in this VERY, VERY low and budget "film" which "parodies" Blair Witch with lots of "jokes" strung together and dished out to the public.

This is not funny, not good or indeed anything. The first joke is probably okay - but then straight after that it just hurts so bad you just have to laugh AT it, and not WITH it.

There is no story, nothing - its just a load of jokes which are strung together by this camera man running through a forest.

There is also an annoyingly bad sequence with a black actor playing some insurance idiot who can't look in the camera right nor say his lines good. Why was he there? Indeed why is any of this trash called "comedy" there?

Do not rent, do not buy, do not even go round to your enemy and force him to watch this drivel - it is THAT bad.

0/10.

And I've everything Phil Tucker and Ed Wood have ever done...I've seen Leonard Part 6...I've sat through Highlander 2: The Quickening FOUR TIMES! So I know bad...and this movie is definitely not good.

This video is a compilation of shorts based on the lamentably popular The Blair Witch Project. Unfortunately there is not enough material here to make one decent ten-minute short film float.

This video is complete and utter trash. I think I may have actually smiled perhaps twice during it, and the only recognizable actor is Michael Ian Black (Johnny Bluejeans from Comedy Central's Viva Las Vegas, if you can call that generally recognizable).

Don't waste your time with this thing...it has Pauly Shore in it for God's sake! Flee! Flee!

The second worst film ever made. Spoofs practically write themselves so even a monkey would manage to include at least one minor chuckle over the eternity that this film lasts. This, however, is a guaranteed laugh free zone. A big, fat, hairy, mess made by a collection of talentless, failed, drunken, pretentious drama students.

That said, rarely has a film had such an emotional impact on me. Whilst watching I experienced everything from hatred/anger/fury through despair/depression and all the way to wanting to kill everyone involved and set myself on fire.

Do not watch this film. I'm not joking. It has nothing to offer.

I can only imagine that the day this was made a lot of villages were missing an idiot.

The first segment, "The Watts Bitch Project", was mildly funny, enough to make me think that this collection of spoofs gained its REALLY bad reputation mostly because fans of the real movie took the whole thing as an insult. I was wrong. If the first segment was watchable, what came next was complete, unwatchable crap with not one single laugh. The fake commercials were lame and the next spoofs were so unfunny it was painful. The Pauly Shore segment was particularly goofy and out of place.

My advice it that you can skip this movie but if you happen to catch it on cable, watch only the first segment. The rest is absolutely unwatchable. By the way, here are my ratings:

segment "The Watts Bitch Project" 5/10; segment "The Griffith Witch Project" 1.5/10; segment "In the Woods Segments" 1/10; segment "Pauly Shore Segment" 1/10; segment "The Bel Air Witch Project" 1/10; segment "The Willie Witch Project" 1/10

Overall: 2/10