Birkett Turton credited as playing...
Clive Webb
- Clive: I don't think I ever want to have sex.
- Gypsy: Mm-hmm
- Clive: I'm serious.
- Gypsy: Ok.
- Clive: I just want someone to kiss, with big, soft, delicious lips. He'd have to smother me in old-school romance. I mean, candles and incense, Moët and Chandon, but only in a deserted castle in the south of France.
- Gypsy: [releases pent-up laughter] Oh my god. You are so much more of a girl than I am.
- Clive: Sex just seems so... messy.
- Gypsy: Oh, no, no. Sex can be awesome. Not that I would remember, but...
- Clive: Maybe you and I should try.
- Gypsy: Yeah, well, I think I'm past my wayward-sex fag-hag test-fuck phase... but thanks for the offer. It's just "been there, done that."
- Clive: At least I'd know for sure.
- Gypsy: Honey, you're a queer, with a capital "Q."
- Clive: Ok, you know what? Some of us don't care to be defined by our sexuality.
- Gypsy: Ok, sorry. Can I ask you a question?
- Clive: What?
- Gypsy: Are you gay?
- Clive: Yes! But I don't have anything in common with those people. I mean, like I give a rat's ass about Judy Garland or... Stonewall!
- [Gypsy laughs]
- Clive: Being queer is a very small part of me.
- Gypsy: Yeah, whatever.
- Woman: Excuese me. May I ask you a question? Do you think it's appropriate to dance in a graveyard?
- Clive: Don't you think that we should dance while we can?
- Woman: I think you should have more respect for the dead and especially for yourself.
- Gypsy: Excuse me?
- Woman: I didn't want to mention this, but you could be a very pretty girl, but that
- [points at Gypsy's cleavage bearing ensemble]
- Woman: would be inappropriate for any young lady. Especially for someone your size.
- Gypsy: Look, Granny, I am a pretty girl, ok? Big is beautiful. Haven't you heard? And for the record, I don't give a flying fuck or a rolling rimjob what you or anyone else thinks of me. You're dismissed.