Zach Galifianakis credited as playing...
- Luke: No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight.
- Luke: Can you get an STD from a polar bear?
- Luke: This uniform is really cramping my Olsen Twins. Lance, Can I get a drink for Mary Kate and Ashley?
- Inga: Where did you get all these scars?
- Luke: Well, let's see. Skateboard... Truck accident... Fire hydrant.
- Inga: I bet each one has its own exciting story, no?
- Luke: No not really. I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant.
- Luke: This suit is really cramping my Hardy Boys. It's no mystery.
- Luke: Well, yeah it dosen't really allow my dice to roll and by dice I mean testicles. Speaking of testicles, let me get a beer.
- Luke: He's had a crush on that bench for years
- Luke: You know I hate what they're doing to the mountain, but this is the best vanilla latte I have ever had. You can actually taste the vanilla beans... I don't like the coffee.
- Barry: So, uh, who's the "jaccuzi casanova?"
- Stumpy: [pointing at Luke] Yeah, that's him right there
- Luke: Thanks Stumpy
- Stumpy: They call him that because he had himself up in it, ya know? lovin' it strong.
- Eric Montclare: Luke, why don't you shut up before my fist makes an appointment with your ass?
- Luke: Eric, do you notice you're always talking about sticking something in my ass, and that time it wasn't even a threat,
- [grinning]
- Luke: technically, that was *flirting*...
- Luke: [punches Pig Pen] A little sensitivity here. Can't you see this is a dejected man?
- Pig Pen: Now Rick, get your dejected head out of your ass. Papa wanted you to run this mountain.
- Luke: [drunk] There you are, I've been looking for you, come inside, you look so beautiful and I wanted to see if you wanted to dance...
- [Anna walks up]
- Luke: Not you, him and his white tuxedo.
- Luke: Good evening. You all know the rules of King of the Mountain. Rule number one: you do not talk about King of the Mountain. Rule number two: there are no rules.
- Anthony: Uh, what about rule number one?
- Luke: That's more of a guidline than a rule, do not interrupt!
