Martin Lawrence credited as playing...
- Jamal: Courage is not the absence of fear. It is the presence of fear, yet the will to move on.
- Jamal: [chanting] King Leo's got a great big castle,
- [Troops of men echo him]
- Men: King Leo's got a great big castle,
- Jamal: We're gonna shove it right up his a**hole!
- Men: We're gonna shove it right up his a**hole!
- Jamal: Sound off!
- Men: 1,2!
- Jamal: Break it on down!
- Men: Uh, uh, uh-uh!
- [Trying to get Victoria's 's phone number]
- Jamal: ANYBODY GOT A PEN?
- Victoria: You can read and write!
- Jamal: Yeah!... Who you been datin'?
- Jamal: Do you have a thong?
- Victoria: Excuse me?
- Jamal: Never mind. We'll just take an old pair of drawers and cut the ass out.
- Percival: How dare you deflower the king's daughter.
- Jamal: Believe me, someone got to that flower long before I did.
- Guard #1: Who be ye?
- Jamal: Who be I? I be stompin' yo ass you put your hand on me one more again!
- Jamal: That's why you shouldn't drink your own urine.
- Jamal: 9-1-1! 9-1-1! White man down! White man down!
- Jamal: I'm not only the... duke's official messenger... but I'm also the court jester!
- King Leo: You arrive early. My daughter and I welcome you. What news from Normandy?
- Jamal: What news? Well a couple of drive-bys, other than that, same ole same ole.
- King Leo: When will the Duke arrive to take my daughter's hand?
- Jamal: This is a hell of a setup you've got here. I mean, I'm not lyin'. I mean, wooh! You got to have major coins behind this. Who's backin you, Puffy?
- King Leo: Silence, Moor! Tell me when will the Duke arrive.
- Jamal: Oh, I, I get it. You wanna see if I can improv. Ok, well let's see. Uh. The Duke will arriveth in all his royal pomposity and splendor on Tuesday.
- King Leo: Tuesday! Ha! That is excellent news! Phillip, have the servants supply this messenger with much food and drink. And let him lay with any damsel that he desires, except my daugher, of course.
- [everyone laughs]
- Jamal: [draws sword] Prepare to taste cold steel.
- Percival: [pause] ... Behold!
- Jamal: Let's all give Percy some mercy.
