John Cusack: Eddie Thomas

America's Sweethearts

Eddie Thomas

Wellness Guide: This letter, Edward, is a very important part of the healing process. By writing to your mother, you afford yourself the opportunity to thank her, or forgive her, or to ask her why she did the things she did. Now we don't mail the letter, but the simple act of putting it on paper frees you, allows you to let go. Now... what did you say to your mother?
Eddie: [reading] "Dear Mom, Fuck you."
Wellness Guide: Okay. We'll try the letter some other time.

Eddie: I tried to walk away, but the guy just kept pushing. So I hit him in the tray with my face.

Eddie: [at the Junket Interview] Look, Byron, I want to be honest with you. Before I came down from the room, I took a half a pound of Vicodin, so I'm going to be really comfortable until about late March.

Eddie: I blew it. I lost her.
Lee: Guy goes to his rabbi. He says, "I think my wife's trying to poison me." Rabbi says, "Let me talk to her." Comes back a little later and says, "Listen, I spoke to your wife for three hours. Take the poison." You get it? You and Gwen are over.
Eddie: I don't care about Gwen! I'm talking about Kiki.

Eddie: Kiki! Hold on, hold on, I want to talk. Come on...
Kiki: Let go of me!
Eddie: Just... I want to talk to you!
Kiki: I don't want to talk to you!
Eddie: Why not?
Kiki: Because you're an idiot!
Eddie: Well?
Kiki: You know what? For that matter, I'm an idiot, too. In that respect, we're actually quite perfect for each other.
Eddie: This is a very complicated situation...
Kiki: Well, let me uncomplicate it for you, huh? Forget about what happened between us, Eddie. It's not going to work, all right? I mean, last night... last night was great. But then she calls you this morning, and you just cannot wait to get out the door to get to her! What is that? It's just not going to work, 'cause you will probably always be thinking about her, and I will probably always be wondering if you were thinking about her. I just... I just need you to know one thing.
Eddie: What?
Kiki: That woman that you saw by the pool the other night...
Eddie: Forget about that.
Kiki: No, that woman that you just have to spend the rest of your life with...
[beat]
Kiki: That was me.

Eddie: I am grateful for you. In all the world, thing I am most grateful for is you.
Kiki: If that's a line from one of your movies...
Eddie: No, that one's mine.

Eddie: How can you be in love with someone and not even like them at the same time?

Gwen: You love me.
Eddie: Yes, I do. I do love you. I love that beautiful, bright, sexy woman up on the screen...
Gwen: [to the crowd] See? He loves me.
Eddie: Yeah, the girl I used to make movies with. But that's not the real you. That's you pretending to be real, which you're really good at. So when I'm with you in real life, I think I'm going to be with the real you, but I'm not. I'm with the real you that's with me right now, not the real you from the movies, and I don't want to be with... *you*.

Kiki: [after Hector hits Eddie in the face with a tray] Eddie, Eddie, are you okay?
Eddie: I can feel my nose in the back of my throat, is that bad?

Lee: So, do you want to arrive first or second?
Eddie: Second.
Lee: Be right back.
[goes to Gwen's limo]
Lee: He wants to go second.
Kiki: Let him go second.
Gwen: He can go second. No, wait a minute. He should go first. I don't want to look like his opening act. I want to go second.
Kiki: She wants to go second.
Lee: Second it is.
[goes back to Eddie's limo]
Lee: She wants to go second.
Eddie: Fine, let her come second. I don't care. Let her come behind me. That way she'll be able to see the knife she stuck in my back.
Lee: Thank you.
Kiki: [back at Gwen's limo] Great! Second. We're all set.
Gwen: Who cares?
Kiki: She doesn't care.
Gwen: Yes, I do! I'm going first!
Eddie: [back at Eddie's limo] I don't care! I don't care! Why is this an issue?
Lee: I'm just trying to facilitate the...
Eddie: I don't care! Can we just get to the hotel?
Lee: You're going second.
Eddie: [rolling up the window] I don't care! I don't care! I don't care! I don't care! I don't care!
Lee: You're going second. Eddie? You're going second.
Eddie: [rolls down the window] I don't care.
Lee: Okay. Thank you.
[Eddie rolls up the window]
Lee: Well, that was easy.
Limo Driver: I don't know why we have to go second.
Eddie: JUST DRIVE THE CAR!

Kiki: Look... I'm tired of making excuses. I'm done picking up dirty clothes. I'm done pretending that your life is my whole life. I'm just... I'm done.
Gwen: So what you're really worried about is you.
Kiki: [thinks for a second] Yes.
Gwen: Well, I... guess you're fired.
[Gwen darts a glance at the audience, then throws her arms around Kiki]
Gwen: Honey! You know all I care about is your happiness. You know that, right?
Kiki: Wow. Thank you, Gwen, that's very...
Gwen: [pulls away from Kiki and grabs the microphone] So don't worry about me, everybody. I'll be fine!
[audience applauds]
Eddie: You're unbelievable.
Gwen: Shut up!