Psyched by the 4D Witch

This is something that only could have been made in the early 70's. Its more of an acid trip than a movie. I wouldn't be surprised if this had been shot as a full on porn but then cut to be released as "art" when they realized how bad it was. It actually makes it funnier to have these abrupt cuts in the very, very un-sexy sex scenes. The film stock looks burnt and scratched most of the time and there is no audio for the actors, its all voice over narration. Low budget and amateur to its very core.

But, I'd always rather see something that sucks because its so weird that sucks because its the same as everything else - that's why it gets a 5.

Psyched by the 4D Witch (1972)

** (out of 4)

Insane little sexploitation flick about Cindy, a female virgin who won't even masturbate even though she wants to experience an orgasm. Wanting to keep her virginity, she learns that her aunt was a witch so she sells her soul to her and Satan in exchange for "Fantasy Fu*ks". This is an incredibly strange and psychedelic film, which works pretty well with the exception that it runs way too long even at just over 80-minutes. There's countless nudity, lesbian sex and other strange doings, which keep the film moving. The film was recorded silent and then voiceovers were added along with a trippy music score, which works pretty well. There's really nothing great about this movie but it ranks among one of the better sexploitation flicks I've seen.

People on drugs made this film. The NHS could save an absolute fortune in communicating their anti-drug message, when really all they need to do is get hold of this film and show it in schools and television. The immediate effect would be to turn children and impressionable adults away from hallucinogenic drugs. To be honest, it might even make Keith Richards think again.

This truly mind-numbing feature is nothing if not a one-off. It tells its silly story via the medium of psychedelic effects. Sounds good? Yeah it sounds alright I agree. But at 80 minutes in length it overstays its welcome by a long way. This would've been OK as a short; it's mind-boggling as a full length feature. There is no synchronized sound; everything is conveyed via a voice-over. This makes it become increasingly hard to pay attention, and you will find yourself slowly losing touch with the bizarre events happening on screen; by the conclusion I expect a lot of you will just be relieved.

In theory this film should be good but it isn't. It's very weird though, so that at least is always something.

EDIT: I watched this again on 27/03/19 and actually rather enjoyed it. How baffling.

Putting this film on a DVD with "Monstar-a-Go-Go" was really a stroke of genius for this film's reputation, because MAGG is so awful that it makes this poorly-assembled collection of audio and images look GOOD.

Seriously, I put this film on the TV at a party with the sound turned down, and on that level, it had some merit: flaky, trippy, visuals that lent some visual interest in the background. "What the H IS THIS???" asked more than one person. I was forced to go into an explanation, which left the people utterly befuddled and looking as if they had been struck about the head and shoulders with a lead bong.

On that level, I can not recommend PBT4W, but I hope I have at least provided some kind of scenario in which it would not be a net deficit. Use this information as you will.

I am a little embarrassed to say I enjoyed this movie. It was entertaining, but also it struck me as quite funny at times. The plot is a girl has never had sex nor an orgasm. So her "ancestor" Abigail the witch haunts her mind and puts her into trances where she can't help but go do sexual things that give her a satisfying climax. She first starts trying to turn on her neighbor Mr. Jones, who is a homosexual (or "homo" as he puts it), but then the trances get more and more perverse until finally she's being told to have sex with her dead girl friend. In between all of this is "psychedelic" light shows, but really it's kind of boring flashes of red and people in masks and weird outfits. Not many psychedelic colors, mostly just red.

I did like this movie because Cindy's voice, who is the main narrator, has a twinge of comedy in it the whole time. As if the actress thought that what she was saying was so stupid it was funny. There are parts where they say the f-word or they say some body part and it has been cut out. The key phrase that Cindy is supposed to say to get the witch to enter her mind is "Let's fantasy f**k now!" but after a while, the f-word gets cut right out of the dialog, so you just hear "let's fantasy *cut* now!" And it does this for a lot of lines where you'd think something vulgar was about to be said. Or when a snake is being pulled out of someone's butt, they say "rectum" but then the word gets cut out the next time they refer to it. It's strange that they do that.

This movie has fake snakes that are supposed to be real and girls are doing weird things them. It has bad vampire teeth. It has a huge bad wig on the main character. And it has a great theme song, that unfortunately, you get sick of by the end. And lastly, it has a great scene where something strange is happening to the main girl (I forget what) and her narrator decides to make crazy noises the whole time that end up sounding like someone talking in tongues while drowning. It's pretty funny.