Michele Lee credited as playing...
Cousin Mel
- Cousin Mel: All you have to do is sign.
- Grandpa Spankenheimer: Sing?
- Cousin Mel: No, sign.
- Grandpa Spankenheimer: Fine.
- Cousin Mel: So sign.
- Grandpa Spankenheimer: I'd rather sing.
- Cousin Mel: In case you haven't noticed, Frank, your son suffers a dreaded affliction.
- Frank Spankenheimer: What affliction?
- Cousin Mel: The Santa-Claus-is-Real Syndrome. He shows all the signs. Making lists to Santa, checking them twice, good behavior, falling asleep before midnight. I figure he gets it from his grandmother.
- Jake Spankenheimer: You saw it, didn't you, Grandpa?
- Grandpa Spankenheimer: I'm sorry, did you say something? I was too busy watching Grandma get hit by Santa's sleigh. What a sight, sleigh comes out of nowhere, Grandma takes a header into the snowbank, sleigh vanishes, like the Ghost of Christmas Past.
- Cousin Mel: And that's what's known as an advanced case of Santa-Claus-is-Real Syndrome.