Meryl Streep: Susan Orlean

Adaptation.

Susan Orlean

Susan Orlean: There are too many ideas and things and people. Too many directions to go. I was starting to believe the reason it matters to care passionately about something, is that it whittles the world down to a more manageable size.

John Laroche: You know why I like plants?
Susan Orlean: Nuh uh.
John Laroche: Because they're so mutable. Adaptation is a profound process. Means you figure out how to thrive in the world.
Susan Orlean: [pause] Yeah but it's easier for plants. I mean they have no memory. They just move on to whatever's next. With a person though, adapting is almost shameful. It's like running away.

Susan Orlean: Do you ever get lonely sometimes, Johnny?
John Laroche: Well, I was a weird kid. Nobody liked me. But I had this idea. If I waited long enough, someone would come around and just, you know... understand me. Like my mom, except someone else. She'd look at me and quietly say: "Yes." Just like that. And I wouldn't be alone anymore.

John Laroche: Look, I'll tell you a story, all right? I once fell deeply, you know, profoundly in love with tropical fish. I had 60 goddamn fish tanks in my house. I'd skin-dive to find just the right ones. Anisotremus virginicus, Holacanthus ciliaris, Chaetodon capistratus. You name it. Then one morning, I woke up and said, "Fuck fish." I renounce fish, I will never set foot in that ocean again. That's how much "fuck fish." That was 17 years ago and I have never stuck so much as a toe in that ocean. And I love the ocean.
Susan Orlean: But why?
John Laroche: Done with fish.

Susan Orlean: It's over. Everything's over. I did everything wrong. I want my life back. I want it back before everything got fucked up. I want to be a baby again. I want to be new. I WANT TO BE NEW.

Susan Orlean: What I came to understand is that change is not a choice. Not for a species of plant, and not for me. It happens - and you are different.

Susan Orlean: YOU FAT PIECE OF SHIT. He's dead.
Charlie Kaufman: Shut up.
Susan Orlean: YOU LOSER. You've ruined my life, YOU FAT FUCK.
Charlie Kaufman: FUCK YOU LADY. You're just a lonely, old, desperate, pathetic DRUG ADDICT.

Susan Orlean: I suppose I do have one unembarrassed passion. I want to know what it feels like to care about something passionately.

John Laroche: Who's gonna play me?
Susan Orlean: Well, I've gotta write the book first, John. Then, you know, they get somebody to write the screenplay.
John Laroche: Hey, I think I should play me.

John Laroche: [viewing an orchid at a flower show] Angraecum sesquipedale! A beauty! God! Darwin wrote about this one. Charles Darwin? Evolution guy? Hello? You see that nectary all the way down there? Darwin hypothesized a moth with a nose twelve inches long to pollinate it. Everyone thought he was a loon! Then, sure enough, they found this moth with a twelve-inch proboscis. Proboscis means "nose," by the way.
Susan Orlean: I know what "proboscis" means.
John Laroche: Yeah, let's not get off the subject. This isn't a pissing contest!

Susan Orlean: John Leroche is a tall guy, skinny as a stick, pale eyes, slouch-shouldered, sharply handsome, despite the fact he's missing all his front teeth.

Susan Orlean: If the ghost orchid was really a phantom, it was such a bewitching one that it could seduce people to pursue it year after year and mile after miserable mile. If it was a real flower, I wanted to see one. The reason wasn't that I love orchids. I don't even especially like orchids. What I wanted was to see this thing that people were drawn to in such a singular and powerful way.

Matthew Osceola: I can see your sadness. It's lovely.
Susan Orlean: I'm just tired, that's all. That's my problem. So, maybe we could chat a little bit, and, you know, get some background for...
Matthew Osceola: I'm not going to talk to you much. It's not personal. It's the Indian way.

Susan Orlean: Orchids are the *sexiest* flowers on earth. The name orchid derives from the Latin orchis, which means testicle.