David Ogden Stiers: Jumba

Lilo & Stitch

Jumba

Pleakley: Oh great! He's loose!
Jumba: His destructive programming is taking effect. He will be irresistibly drawn to large cities, where he will back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everyone's left shoe.

Grand Councilwoman: Experiment 626. Give us a sign you understand any of this. Show us that there is something inside you that is good.
[Stitch clears his throat; the council members listen in anticipation]
Stitch: Meega, nala kwishta!
[the entire council gasps in horror]
Grand Councilwoman: [horrified] So... naughty!
[Stitch laughs maniacally]
Jumba: I didn't teach him that!

[first lines]
Grand Councilwoman: Read the charges.
Gantu: Doctor Jumba Jookiba, you stand before this council accused of illegal genetic experimentation!
Grand Councilwoman: How do you plead?
Jumba: Not guilty! My experiments are only theoretical, and completely within legal boundaries.
Grand Councilwoman: We believe you actually... created something.
Jumba: Created something? Hah! But that would be irresponsible and unethical. I would never, ever...
[Stitch is revealed]
Jumba: ...make... more than one.

Jumba: Come on, what's the big deal?
Stitch: [in alien language] Oongatish mista!
Jumba: I'll put you back together again... I'll make you taller, and not so fluffy!
[whips plates at Stitch, frisbee style]
Stitch: I like fluffy!
[after there is a ring of holes around Stitch]
Stitch: [in alien language] Ah, Pooama Chicky!
Jumba: Ach! Leave my mother out of this!

Jumba: WHAT? After all you put me through, you expect me to help you just like that? JUST LIKE THAT?
Stitch: [alien language] Ih.
Jumba: Fine!
Pleakley: "Fine"? You're doing what he says?
Jumba: He's very persuasive!

Pleakley: [after Stitch chews on his head] All is well! Please go about your business! I'm okay!
Nani: Uh, your head looks... swollen.
Jumba: Actually, she's just ugly.
Pleakley: [laughing nervously] Oh, he's joking. Ugly - Look at me!

Gantu: What is that monstrosity?
Jumba: Monstrosity? What you see before you is the first of a new species. I call it Experiment 626. He is fire-proof, bullet-proof, and can think faster than super computer. He can see in the dark, and lift objects three thousand times his size. His only instinct... to destroy everything he touches! Ha ha ha ha!
Grand Councilwoman: So it IS a monster.
Jumba: Eh, just a little one.

Pleakley: Oh, good! I was hoping to add theft, endangerment, and INSANITY to my list of things I did today!
Jumba: Ha ha! You too?

Pleakley: [Nani sees Pleakley and Jumba arrest Stitch] Don't interact with her.
[They turn their backs on Nani]
Nani: Where's Lilo?
Jumba: Who?
[Pleakley hits Jumba]
Jumba: What?
Nani: Lilo. My sister.
Jumba: Uh... sorry, we do not know anyone by this, uh...
Nani: Lilo! She's a little girl this big, she has black hair and brown eyes and she hangs around with that THING!
Jumba: [sighs] We know her.
Nani: Bring... her... back.
Pleakley: Oh, we can't do that. Uh-uh. That would be misuse of galactic resources.
Jumba: See, problem is, we're just here for him.
Nani: So she's gone?
Pleakley: Look at the bright side. You won't have to yell at anyone anymore.

Jumba: 626 was designed to be a monster, but now he has nothing to destroy. You see, I never gave him a greater purpose. What must it be like to have nothing, not even memories to look back on in the middle of the night?

Jumba: Hiding behind your little friend won't work anymore. Didn't I tell you? We got fired this morning. New rules.

Jumba: So, tell me, my little one-eyed one... on what poor, pitiful, defenseless planet has my "monstrosity" been unleashed?

Jumba: Don't worry, is all part of plan. We are professionals. Hey! Get that out of your mouth!