The Days of Our Years

It's hard to imagine railroad workers watching this short film without thinking that their company is trying to blame them for all the industrial accidents that occur. It correctly argues that workers should always keep safety in mind while working, but implies that the company would willingly allow people to take time off for simple dizziness or not penalize workers for falling behind in their work. It also insists that the company "does everything in its power to prevent accidents", which in my corporate experience is exactly as likely as *individuals* doing everything possible; that is to say, not at all likely. And by casting this as a kind of sermon by a company-town minister, Union Pacific turns human error into a sin against the company and one's loved ones. Safety, of course, should be regularly emphasized in dangerous industrial environments, but this message appears to be rather one-sided and heavy-handed.

The MST3K version of this short, shown in its "Amazing Transparent Man" episode and available on its "Shorts Volume 2" DVD, is filled with well-timed jokes and entertaining silliness. It's quite funny, unless you've encountered some of the tragic accidents that occur in the short, which would make it hard to be amused by the banter. But it's possible to laugh at the goofy MST3K lines while remembering the short's message: that safety must be consciously and continuously practiced in hazardous environments.

This is set in a small railroad town, and follows the exploits of a preacher. The preacher's congregation appears to be a bunch of thoughtless, accident-prone people who seem to hate getting hurt but can't stop themselves from doing bodily harm to themselves. Pretty bad acting and boring narration shoot this one down.

This short was featured on episode 623 of Mystery Scienc Theater 3000 and boy did it ever need the treatment. To put it simply and to quote Mike Nelson, by the end we discover that accidents are caused, "by joy, sex, and old age." This is particular to accidents on the railroad. This documentary short shoots you with more irrelevant metaphors than the regular Coleman Francis feature, and it leaves you feeling depressed and empty knowing the greatest joys in life always lead to the death of you and your loved ones. I recommend this documentary only in its mst3k format, where it is excellent fodder for m&tbs. I leave you with the vision of a minister strolling his congregations neighborhood, pointing out all the accidents that were caused by the grace of god as a consequence for living the days of their years.

"The Day of Our Years" is an educational instruction film from the mid-50s made by Union Pacific. It's a classic in Union Pacific vaults but viewed as too corny by the average person. So, pretty soon it made it's way to Comedy Central's "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and is probably one of the funniest MST shorts. The film focuses on a Reverend better known to Tom Servo as "America's Favorite Decan of Death" who tells us three stories about death, accidents, and misfortune. The first story is about Joe. Joe likes to rush. So rushing his way home one day, he and two of his fellow workers. This particular story contains some of Mike and the bots' funniest commentary such as when Joe is on the road and while the Reverend is telling his story Crow blurts out (while we look at a close-up of Joe) "Out of my head, Reverend!" or the scene where Joe is seen in a neck-brace and Tom comments "Do you take this bionic man?" The next tale is of George. George is a crazy old guy (ya gotta love him) who's planning his retirement with his wife. One bright, sunny, cheerful, day George doesn't feel good. Could it be last night's Mexican dinner? Anyway, he ends up killing his neighbor in a (train?) crash. Ever since then George never moves from his chair, and closes the shade on everything while saying "BOOOORINGGGGGG!" The third and final story is about a man who has been blinded by a blow torch and gives his baby a train instead of his bottle. This particular MST short made my brother and I fall on the floor laughing at the commentary. I highly recommend MST version of this one (which, I think is now on videotape or DVD).

Let's get married by the Earl Warren clone! Mercifully short, this film may be only 20 minutes long, but it feels like several hours. Union Pacific railroad, who also gave us "Last Clear Chance" did this disaster of a film. Pretty bad acting and narrating shoot this one down.