John Simm credited as playing...
Frank
- Frank: I had always wanted to know what those love songs were all about, now I know why they are all sad.
- Frank: Love is a powerful force. Romeo topped himself... so that Cleopatra... Samson pulled down an entire city to win Delilah. Love conquers everything. And yet, there are times when even love itself is powerless. At those times, I prefer to use a breadboard.
- Frank: She's a con man.
- Rod: And?
- Frank: It's bad!
- Rod: No, Frank, your hair... is bad. She is exciting. No, no... she's beyond exciting. She's... she's international. Get out there, conquer it.
- Frank: I can't.
- Rod: Why not?
- Frank: I'm a librarian.
- Rod: Frank, you're clinging to the past. You haven't even got one. You just... stayed in.
- [Frank begins narrating during a montage]
- Frank: He was right. That's all I did. I stayed in. Read books. Until I met her. And what had I done? I panicked. I'd thrown it away. In one month with her... I'd been kidnapped... we'd made 5 million quid from a psychopath. I was alive, electrified by raw, painful, horrible, glorious life. I was in love with 2 women. And that was fine... because both of them were her.
- [Frank is now talking to Rod while driving]
- Frank: That's the thing, I don't just love the girl with the brown eyes who laid beside me by the sea. I love the girl with the blue eyes as well. The one in London.
- Rod: What was her name?
- Frank: Miranda! That's the point! I love both of them. The good and the bad.
- Rod: And the ugly.
- Frank: [taking a deep breath] Would you like to go for a drink?
- Miranda: No. Why?
- Frank: You know, when people say the've seen miracles? Amazing things like, you know, they say they've seen the face of the virgin Mary. But it ain't, it's just a piece of coal or something.
- Miranda: Yeah?
- Frank: Well, what's important is, they've witnessed something of such humongously large, religous proportions, that their whole life just - shimmers.
- Miranda: Yeah.
- Frank: That's me, that is.
- [very serious]
- Frank: *You* are my virgin Mary... coal... thing.
- [long pause]
- Frank: I just wanna sit beside you in a bar. Go on then, say no. I know you're gonna say it.
- Miranda: Allright then. One drink, no fuck.
- Frank: [Narrating] She wore a Mac. Like those old detective movies where the women used to kiss and chew gum at the same time... I loved her. I didn't know anything about her, but I loved her.
- Frank: [Playing his guitar and singing] And it's you, Miranda. Wherever I wander, I'll find her. From New York, to Uganda. Miranda. Got eyes like a Panda. Miranda. If you were a plane, I'd land ya'. Miranda.
- Frank: [Narrating... as Miranda lightly strokes neck of his guitar] There she was. In my room. Like she owned it. Everything she touched became rude.
- Frank: [Narrating] I go to the shop for two bars of chocolate, 20 cigarettes, a packet of condoms, and a pint of milk. We have a competition to see which we could finish first. Usually it was the chocolates, followed by the condoms, then the cigarettes. The milk lasted longest. It was long life. I always buy stuff with preservatives in it. Makes you live longer.