Daniel Cosgrove credited as playing...
Richard Bagg
- Richard: Mr. Wilder here is quite the collegian. He's in his, what? sixth year?
- Van Wilder: Actually, its lucky number seven.
- Richard: Oh, Gwen! Your labia feels so good around my swollen phallus! Oh! Oh! Oh, I'm fairly confident I'm going to ejaculate. I'm releasing some of my seminal fluids inside of you now!
- [grunts and giggles]
- Gwen: Are you okay?
- Richard: Yeah. Why? Well, didn't you?
- Gwen: Well, it's kind of hard in 15 seconds.
- Richard: Damn it, Gwen! You know the kind of pressure I'm under with my exams.
- Gwen: I'm sorry.
- Richard: Look, I'm sorry. This semester's marks could determine in the next 10 years of our lives together. Do you realize that?
- Gwen: You know... you shouldn't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive.
- Richard: [laughs] What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm late for my study group.
- Van Wilder: Whoa, trick or treat. What's going on?
- Richard: This vaginal discharge won't let us partake in the party.
- Van Wilder: Graphic.
- Richard: Gwen, what are you doing here?
- Van Wilder: You two know each other?
- Richard: That's my girlfriend, gluteus erecti.
- Richard: How bad do you want to be a Delta? Would you stand on broken glass? Let the shards into your Archilles tendon, causing acute achondroplasia, which could lead to non-congenital dwarfism as you got older?