Mark of the Astro-Zombies

In the 1960s and 70s, Ted Mikels made a lot of cheap films. Some of his early ones weren't bad at all (such as "Black Klansman") but most were rather schlocky. However, in recent years, Mikels has stayed active--producing even lower quality films (yes, this IS possible). And when I talk about lower quality, I am not exaggerating. Films such as "Cauldron: Baptism of Blood" and "Apartheid Slave-Women's Justice" honestly look as if some teenagers decided to make a film using home video equipment and posted the results on YouTube. This is exactly the sort of film to expect from "Mark of the Astro-Zombies"--a film with such low production values that it is WORSE than an Ed Wood flick!!

What's so bad about "Mark of the Astro-Zombies"? Everything. The actors are all non-professionals, his 'monsters' are laughable and sport cheap rubber masks (I especially had to laugh at the lizard people!!!), there appears to be no script, much of the film is missing and cheap messages scroll at the bottom of the screen to fill in the gaps and the entire production seems to have cost Mikels, perhaps, $89.99. Apart from a few trick machetes, the masks and LOTS of fake blood and some VERY cheap CG, I have no idea what Mikels else could have spent any money on--especially since he already seemed to have the home video cameras from his previous direct-to-video and DVD releases. The overall production is at least as bad as recent films like "Birdemic", "Troll 2" and "The Room"...no, I actually think "The Room" is better! However, deciding whether any of these are worse than "Mark of the Astro-Zombies" is like deciding which is worse--Ebola, the Black Plague or Typhoid!!! A truly horrible film that would have made the IMDb Bottom 100 list had it received wider distribution.

Rogue aliens have arrived in their CGI ship, seeking to conquer the Earth with their army of machete-swinging Astro-Zombies.

Watch out! These homeless-people-turned-actors can shamble rather swiftly!

Watch agog! As the Astro-Zombies slaughter unwary extras!

See! The interior of the alien ship, which reveals the latest in cardboard and Styrofoam technology!

Thrill! While the US government responds, meeting in what appears to be a teacher's lounge!

Shot on video tape, MARK OF THE ASTRO-ZOMBIES is Auteur Ted V. Mikels' magnum opus of cinematic mastery. It includes a touching tribute to John Carradine's disembodied head!

Indeed, the schlock gods have brought this down from heaven...

I just got my copy of Mark of the Astro Zombies and loved it! Great Stars Tura Satana (great to see her in this sequel) Brinke Stevens (Queen of the Scream Queens!)Liz Renay (in a most humorous role)and Shanti (a welcome bad ass Ted staple).And new break out star performances by Sean Morelli (Corpse Grinders 2),Anton Funtek (Evil Zekith)and a hats off to Scott Blacksher as Zokar in a show stealing performance.And a wink to Nina Tepes for a revealing shower scene and Kimberly Lynn Cole Yowza!Great Digital effects by Master FX and Splatter Master David White.Great Monsters By Jay Gowey (FANTASTIC Dr.Demarco(John Carradine) head for his beyond grave cameo with Tura and Ted V.Mikels) and recreating the Astro Men and for the Evil Zekith.This movies story of good vs evil in a fight over Earth is refreshing and brings up current things like remote viewing,Alien abductions and possible inhabited asteroids and shocking gore for splatter fans.Ted V.Mikels has done it again like he has so many other times and remains one of our Indie treasures!If you havent seen any of Ted V.Mikels movies I suggest you do.Pull up some pop corn and put on your seat belt for one heck of a fun ride!

This movie is more like Corpse Grinders 2 than Astro-Zombies. And wouldn't you know it, both movies have the same star. So 2 different types of aliens come to Earth and create robot zombies to take over. Even though they have the technology to get here, their weapon of choice is a machete. There is literally 30 minutes of people grabbing their necks and zombies sharpening machetes. Then there's a 3rd type of alien. Minus 5 stars.

If this film didn't have some kind of self-conscious humor to it, it would be pretty much worthless. The production values are equivalent to MILF-hunter or a school bus safety video. But there is no exploitation really (not even on a level with the bus video). The only thing that really gave me a laugh was when the zombies were on the loose in the mall. It was nice to see Satana up there on the big screen again after all these years (but then again, I wasn't around for the first time, so why not just rent another classic Satana flick and leave this one behind?).

I have the feeling this one kept everyone busy, but not much else.