Swept Away

I really wanted to like this movie because the critics have been unkind

to it (to say the least)... but it was terrible. Really terrible. Badly

acted, a witless script, cack handed direction... Watching this film was

like watching a car crash- you want to look away but you keep staring

because you want to see how messy it's going to get. Well, the car is

wrecked and there are no survivors. On the plus side, the cinematography

was nice, made me want to go on holiday, if only to cleanse myself from

this unholy

I watched Swept Away having little else to do, and part of me wished I had read a magazine or an opera DVD instead. Swept Away has few, if any at all, redeeming qualities at all, and there were times where I wished I could turn off the television but reminded myself that is not a fair way to judge a movie.

Guy Ritchie's direction for starters is very unimaginative, and the camera work and editing don't have any real charm to them, the camera work is not amateurish as such but shows nothing out of the ordinary, and the editing could've been smoother at times.

The script is very hackneyed, the comedic elements are forced and the romantic elements sappy. Also it has the feel of a bad 70s TV drama. The concept has been done to death but that wasn't necessarily a turn off, but the pace is turgid and the story itself doesn't have any interest at all.

Likewise with the characters. They don't feel like characters or real people at all, just overdone caricatures. Jeanne Tripplehorn gets the worst of it, and her overdone performance suffers from it. Madonna only so far has impressed me in Evita, but her performance here is lifeless and disengaged here.

Only two things have any real spark. One is the striking scenery and the other is the earthy charm of Adrianno Giannini. However these two are not enough to salvage the movie from being an insipid bore. All in all, not recommended. 1/10 Bethany Cox

I almost saw this at an actual movie theatre (an art-house theatre, no less!) but couldn't make it there in the one whole week it played, but yesterday I finally saw it on cable and...well...I wasn't disappointed, that's for sure! Madonna has done it again: YET ANOTHER BOMB! When will this woman learn? When will the studios learn? (Or perhaps they already have, since this film was largely dumped, with little fanfare and deadly word-of-mouth.) One would hope that being directed by her talented husband, who's created some interesting and/or terribly entertaining work, would bring out the same quality Madonna showed in "Desperately Seeking Susan"; alas, it just isn't meant to be, for here she is, at her very worst: singularly convinced of her own greatness, the smugness permeating every frame she's in, made all the more unbearable by her wavering faux-British accent, an accent that only underscores the fact that her speaking voice is immature in quality and not especially pleasant. This may sound unnecessarily cruel but LISTEN to the woman, and LOOK at her films of, say, the past decade: like a latter-day Bette Davis, there is an unmistakable brittleness to not only her carriage but to her very face and body, which here, despite the warm photography displayed throughout the film (perhaps its only saving grace), are done no favors. To her credit, the entire affair is so misbegotten that one wonders if the world's greatest actress on her best day could do anything with this mess. No one involved escapes unharmed: Bruce Greenwood actually seems pained to be on-screen, though poor Jeanne Tripplehorn seems to carry herself as if she's actually in something good, which had me thinking all the while, "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt!" Adriano Giannini, son of Giancarlo Giannini, star of the Italian original, "Swept Away...", is, like his father before him, immensely attractive, and isn't altogether bad (despite winning a Razzie nomination for "Worst Actor"), but, like almost everything else about this production, it all comes back to Madonna, on whose shoulders rest the blame. Why her? Why not her husband, director Guy Ritchie? Just who do YOU think was behind this remake? What actress wouldn't want nearly every shot of a movie to be centered on her, with only a relative nobody sharing the screen? Oh sure, Ritchie deserves some blame: surely he - or someone - ANYONE! - should have, and could have, taken his lead aside and insisted on something bordering on ACTUAL FEELING in her line readings (for her performance is so wooden it's a surprise the rest of the cast didn't get splinters), or at least display a semblance of warmth...but she seems resistant to be anything but a cinematic black hole. Above and beyond anything else, this is strictly a vanity project for its star so she is ultimately accountable for it. A film like this, an "Odd Couple"-ish, war of the classes, should be light and fun, with leads who can bounce off one another with witty, even romantic, dialogue, for what else can a film whose plot involves two disparate people stranded, really be? Honestly, I don't think anyone involved knew exactly the tone they were trying for; it succeeds neither as comedy (I defy you to laugh even once) or romance (Madonna's ice-princess routine precludes ANY chemistry). It's not even bad enough for us bad-movie lovers to enjoy. A real shame...

It is a minor Masterwerke, and tells the tale in a far more engaging way. The scenery is also gorgeous, and there is an eerie 1960s feel about the film...also an at first snappy, and then increasingly haunting soundtrack...WE should see ALL of Wertmullers films remastered on DVD.

In 1974, Lina Wertmüller brought out "Swept Away". It was a very usual film and it was an interesting parable about the class system. This movie was quite good...and rather shocking when it came to sexuality (this remake is far less explicit). And, in 2002, an unnecessary remake came out that was not so good...and fans hated it...hated it so much that it's currently #84 on IMDB's imfamous Bottom 100 list. This list consists of the lowest rated major motion pictures...ever! So is this remake that bad? Could it be?

In the original film, a spoiled rich lady is aboard a yacht and she treats the crew very badly. When she and a crew member are washed overboard, they find themselves stuck on a deserted island...and the class difference between them is sorely tested. Here, the plot is very similar though Madonna's character is even nastier and irritating...and to everyone...so much you wonder how she could have a husband and friends. I think they tried a bit too hard to make her unlikable...to the point where it seemed almost cartoonish....sort of like having Cruella de Ville aboard! Subtle, it sure ain't!

So, apart from Madonna playing the character too harhsly, what else was I not fond of in the film? Much of it is that in the original film, the story was about the couple. Here, however, it often seems to be more about Madonna. Not only does the film focus more on her, there's even a totally inappropriate and silly song and dance number...on the desert island...complete with a band!! Do I blame her for this? Not necessarily. The script was written by her husband at the time as well as directed by him. Ultimately, the blame would be Guy Ritchie's for having the part written so poorly. Oddly, the rest of the script is fine...and a lot like the original. Now I've seen several amazingly good Ritchie films...and perhaps it is just an example of why you shouldn't give your wife a starring role, as in this case he seemed to make it look more like a vanity project than a good remake. Overall, watchable and not as bad as its appearance on the Bottom 100 would suggest...but still a not especially good movie...especially because they changed the ending...thus neutering its message about class warfare! Instead, they avoided the anti-capitalist message and made the story all about love...and Wertmüller was apparently horrified that they'd done this.

By the way, casting Adriano Giannini as Giuseppi was really interesting, as his father, Giancarlo, starred in the original "Swept Away"--playing the same role (though the character's name was changed).