Vin Diesel credited as playing...
Xander Cage
- Xander Cage: You have a bazooka! Dude, stop thinking Prague Police and start thinking Playstation. Blow shit up!
- Ivan Podrov: Is not bazooka. It's heat-seeker, right?
- Xander Cage: Heat-seeker...
- Xander Cage: [picks up heat-seeker rocket] Set it!
- [Ivan activates heat-seeker]
- Xander Cage: The son of a bitch is smoking.
- [fires rocket, kills Kirill]
- Xander Cage: I told him that cigarette was gonna kill him one day.
- Gibbons: You ever watch lions at the zoo? You can always tell which ones were captured in the wild by the look in their eyes. The wild cat. She remembers running across the plain, the thrill of the hunt. Four hundred pounds of killing fury, locked in a box. But after a while, their eyes start to glaze over, and you can tell their soul has died. The same thing happens to a man. Leavenworth Federal Penetentiary is no joke. They'll take a wild man like you and throw him in solitary just for the fun of it. No more mountains to board, no more oceans to surf. Just a 6-by-8 cell with no window and only a bucket to shit in. You can avoid all of that by doing me this small favor.
- Xander Cage: You don't have shit on me.
- Gibbons: I noticed you have three X's tattooed on the back of your neck. I think that's rather appropriate, since you're looking at three strikes. Grand theft auto, reckless endangerment, and that little bridge stunt of yours makes you a three-time loser. Maybe you ought to call yourself "Triple X." But if you do what I want, I'll make all your little recent criminal transgressions go away and let you get back to that pathetic excuse of a life.
- Yorgi: There is an old punk song, it says America stands for freedom...
- Xander Cage: But if you think you're free try walking into a deli...
- Yorgi, Xander Cage: And urinating on the cheese!
- Xander Cage: What is this place?
- Gibbons: Looks like a diner.
- Xander Cage: That's clever. You know, you almost had me going there for a while. I was a bit groggy before, then I started noticing things. Like, you got a stockbroker over here, all dressed up reading the Financial Times on a Sunday morning when the market's closed. Unlikely, but okay, I can go with that. I can even go with the stick-up man packing a cop-issue Beretta. But you want to know where you blew it?
- [points at waitress]
- Xander Cage: With her. My aunt was in the restaurant business all her life. There's no way in hell a career waitress comes to work in high heels. She'd have blisters the size of pancakes before lunch. And if she ain't real, then this whole thing ain't real. That's how I knew this bozo over here wouldn't get a shot off even if we waited till St. Patrick's Day.
- [fires shotgun at wall]
- Xander Cage: Because there's nothing but blanks in these guns. Oh, and no offense, but their performances were terrible.
- Yelena: I've been undercover here for two years.
- Xander Cage: Two years? What was your plan? To let them die of old age?
- Yelena: There was no plan. A year and a half ago, Intelligence gets reorganized, and I stop getting orders. They forget about me. And I did what I must to survive. You understand?
- Xander Cage: What do I understand? I've been an agent for a week.
- Toby Lee Shavers: How long have you been with the agency?
- Xander Cage: Two days.
- Toby Lee Shavers: You're shitting me. No way. Man, that sucks.
- Xander Cage: Yeah, it sucks, but it beats jail.
- Toby Lee Shavers: No, it sucks because I spent six years in the basement of some windowless, NSA, gadget freak room, man. And I got a degree. I got a degree from MIT. Phi Beta Kappa, magna cum laude. And I bet they probably picked you up, what, pumping iron in San Quentin?
- Xander Cage: You ever get punched in the face for talking too much?
- Milan Sova: First you set me up in the bar. Then you shoot me in the back.
- Xander Cage: My boss does it to me. I did it to you. It's a vicious circle.
- Xander Cage: Look who it is. Frankenstein. Uncuff me so I can beat the shit out of you.
- Gibbons: Relax, X, you just graduated at the head of your class.
- Xander Cage: I've been risking my life for a lot of stupid reasons. This is the first one that makes sense to me.
- Yelena: Xander? Remember what I told you before, when you kissed me?
- Xander Cage: Never again?
- Yelena: I lied.
- Xander Cage: Yo. What's your name, slick?
- Ivan Podrov: My name is Ivan.
- Xander Cage: Ivan? What's your name, buddy?
- Ivan Pedgrag: [looks back at Xander] My name is Ivan.
- Xander Cage: [looking confused] You're both Ivan?
- El Jefe: Okay, funny guys. I'll show you what we do when funny guys get in our business.
- Xander Cage: What? Hog-tie us and force us to listen to your bad accent?
- El Jefe: No. Cut off their Achilles tendon and watch them flop around like a marionette. Unless you have something to tell me, something I need to know? Huh?
- Xander Cage: Uh, okay. You're short.
- [TJ and Virg start to laugh]
- Xander Cage: And my friend over there says you could use a haircut to update your style. Get off me.
- El Jefe: [kicks Virg] Shut up!
- Xander Cage: Just two seconds ago, you told us to talk. Now it's "Shut up?" I mean, I don't mean to nit-pick, but you're the worst at this torture thing.
- Toby Lee Shavers: Ah. Knocked over a few 7-Elevens, have we?
- Xander Cage: No, I had my leg in a cast for about three months. All I did was play first-person shooter video games.
- Toby Lee Shavers: That's a really sad story.
- [referring to Senator Dick]
- Xander Cage: He also wants video games banned because he believes that they're destroying education... come on Dick, it's the only education we got.
- Xander Cage: Koyla, Yorgi's younger brother, happens to be an action sports fanatic. So naturally, he's a fan. But, when you kill a bottle of Vodka in three swigs, and you're gonna talk too much.
- [before entering Yorgi's club]
- Milan Sova: Everyone in this club's got two things in common; they're filthy rich and they're criminals.
- Xander Cage: I'll fit in perfect, except for the filthy rich part.