Half Past Dead

Loud and multiple bangs for your bucks. Quite tolerable. After flatlining for twenty minutes an FBI agent(Steven Seagal)feels bullet proof and infiltrates a crime syndicate and lands in the New Alcatraz. His mission is to rescue a death row inmate and ends up thwarting a plot to recover stolen gold bricks. The typical Seagal martial arts is coupled with some moderately impressive F/X to hold your attention. The cast is talented as diverse and includes: Nia Peeples, Ja Rule, Morris Chestnut, Claudia Christian and Stephen Cannell. I find Peeples to be one sexy villian...she always seems to impress me! Not the best or worse Seagal flick and it helps to have very few dull moments. A big thumbs up for an FBI guy that rides the flatline.

Steven Seagal, who has a proud history of creating some of the most realistic and exciting fight scenes in his past work is completely wasted in this movie. The money must have been good, because I don't see what else would have persuaded him to appear in it. What we have is a shallow excuse to feature some rappers on film. The script is abominable. Everything is contrived, superficial and artificial. The director seems confused about whether or not he is making a music video or an actual film. A lot of posing, unrealistically choreographed fight scenes, a lot of mindless shooting at walls. I was reminded of those ludicrous gunfights in the A Team, in which about 2,000 bullets are fired and nobody gets killed. The background music (if you can call it that) is loud and irritating. And the chief villain, boringly and predictably bumped off only at the end, displays the character development of a robot. I would have had him shot first just to ease the overall irritation of the film. Bad, bad, bad. The only reason I watched it was in the forlorn hope that Steven Seagal could do something to save it, but that was beyond even him. Stick with what you're good at, big guy, and don't appear in any more rap videos.

"Half Past Dead" is just another crap flick in paunchy Seagal's downward spiral into oblivion. However, unlike his abysmal dramatic follow-up, "The Foreigner", this action flick at least connects with the part of the male brain which turns down the IQ and turns up the testosterone making all the hokey stunts, pyro, combat, etc. seem somehow worth while in a vague sort of mindless way. At least this flick had a hottie in it and showed her navel..about the only thing in the film I hadn't seen before. For action and Seagal diehards only. (C-)

Note - I particularly enjoyed the scene where deep cover FBI op Seagal is asked by a fellow prison inmate if there isn't something more to him than just another inmate whereupon he willingly blows his own cover and admits he's an agent. Exit undercover agent. Enter birdbrain.

Two rules to go by are: Movies made by Franchise Pictures, or distributed by Screen Gems, are movies to avoid. This movie was made by Franchise Pictures AND distributed by Screen Gems! Not only that, but it has Steven Seagal - it's hard to believe that ten years or so ago he was doing so well. It's a shock to see him here, with a puffy face (and torso) and his hair looking lighter. Not surprisingly, his fight scenes are directed with quick cuts and simple martial arts movies that even an amateur could pull off. He seems very disinterested by what's happening, even a little out of it. He shouldn't be surprised that it's his career that's half past dead.

The director, Don Michael Paul, seems to have no ability to direct an action scene, martial art OR weapon-oriented. He uses annoying techniques like slow-motion or fast-motion to try and be "edgy", I guess. He also has problems telling a story, with some notable gaps that filled would have made some plot points more clear. He was working with a tight budget, which explains some things like numerous close-ups and somewhat impoverished sets. (Plus outdoor locations that clearly aren't in the United States, even though the movie is supposed to be taking place there.) Still, the movie moves along with nary a slow spot, and as problem-filled as it is, it's slicker and less annoying than Seagal movies like TICKER and THE FOREIGNER.

Sometime in the near future that island in San Francisco Bay is being used for what God intended, a federal prison once again. But now it's a high tech new and improved Alcatraz with Tony Plana as the warden. It's still an unbreakable no escape facility, but no one ever counts on someone breaking into prison.

Which is what Morris Chestnut, Nia Peeples and an assorted gang of body armored thugs do when hijacker Bruce Weitz is about to be executed. It seems that Weitz who has cleaned up quite a bit since he portrayed Detective Mick Belker on Hill Street Blues, has gone and buried a small fortune in gold bullion which he robbed back in the day resulting in several Treasury agents being killed. Which is why Weitz is on death row.

But Chestnut's helicopter which is his escape route crashes in a blinding rainstorm, we get a hostage situation which also involves a Supreme Court Justice in the person of Linda Thorson. Back before she got to the high court, Thorson was the judge who tried and sentenced Weitz and she's there as a witness to the execution that gets delayed.

Fortunately for all concerned Steven Segall is in the joint with his criminal buddy Ja Rule and he organizes the cons to resist.

People who go to see Steven Segall movies go for the action and violence and not a coherent and realistic plot. The action is plenty as Segall goes through the film in a style that makes Sylvester Stallone look like John Barrymore.

If that's what your taste in film is, go for it.