Blood Lake

Blood Lake. Such a dull film. The plot is typical, involving a group of teens who head to a house by the lake for a few days, only to have a bland and uninspired killer arrive. With a twist to genre conventions, the characters don't make stupid decisions until AFTER the killer makes himself known. Then everyone wanders off by themselves, subconsciously anxious to escape from this trepid and worthless film.

The film itself isn't even poorly made. For an SOV slasher flick, it has decent shot setups, proficient sound design, it's own score, some awfully crappy rock songs, and on par editing, but it lacks a soul. Yes, this film is completely lifeless and bland, priding itself on its "realistic" and "down-to-earth" characters, who ultimately become anything-but-memorable cutouts of bad 80s fashions.

What exactly makes this film so boring? It's loaded with filler material involving the core group of people having good times, riding fast cars, water skiing, playing quarters, and exchanging dialogue so light- hearted, it would almost be offensive to teenagers to suggest they have such timid nature. They don't even get naked or insinuate anything, except between the underage kids, which is just wrong (and improbable).

How is the horror? It's far too little, far too late, involving a character with the most miniscule motive, killing not enough people in settings too dark for anyone to truly appreciate the gore effects that don't even look that bad. This is a movie that shines on VHS, and DVD would only accent its irredeemable flaws.

Some "bad" movies are good due to their technical inferiority to the point where they become laughable. This ain't one of those movies. Everything about it is so standard, it just becomes completely awful, insanely boring, and utterly lifeless, with nothing to remember it by other than the memory of how unmemorable it is. What a fantastic movie!

The plot of "Blood Lake" is very simple:a group of partying teenagers is stalked and murdered by crazed killer in cowboy boots during their summertime holidays close to a large lake.There is water-skiing galore and extremely poor acting.The script is so bad that it was probably written by monkey.Long and tedious scenes which lead absolutely nowhere fill "Blood Lake".There are few gory killings including particularly nasty throat slitting,but the lack of suspense can't be forgiven.The film drags pointlessly to the point of extreme boredom.The killer is more laughable than menacing.So if you like hysterically bad slasher flicks like "Savage Water" or "Don't Go in the Woods" you can't go wrong with this amateurish "Friday the 13th" rip-off.3 killer cowboys out of 10.

Blood Lake (Quick Review) This particularly awful film revolves around a group of poor-acting kids in a cabin on the lake wherein somebody starts killing them. Good. I hated them all anyway. This film's title actually appears in the extremely harmless "Garfield" font. Yeah. That fat cartoon cat. I kid you not.

Well, geez, where to begin? The acting is repugnant and the atmosphere is weak. The story is unoriginal and the killer is really lame. How lame? Well, Jason wears a hockey mask and carries a machete, Freddy has the glove with knives for fingers, Chucky is a demented serial-killer infested doll. This guy is a fat hick with cowboy boots and one leg of his pants is tucked into a boot--and the other isn't!! F*cking scary!! Well, roughly 25 minutes of this film are spent watching the kids water skiing on the lake. I'm serious, here. They might as well have flashed the logo for the brand of skis they were using across the screen. We literally spent about 10-15 minutes watching a few of them water ski, then finally they stop, head to the dock and then.... go out water skiing again!! They didn't spend this much f*cking time on the lake in "Piranha." The kills don't even look good and there is really no gore at all. This movie is just a waste of time. And afterwards, you'll be so depressed that you may see your life as pointless if this is what you waste your time doing. Watching total sh*t like this. You just might kill yourself.

Recommended to: Absolutely no one should ever watch this film. There is nothing good here, nothing creative, nothing interesting, nothing new--except for the pants thing, and that's just retarded. Only if you're a real hardcore horror curiosity seeker--but if you really want a depressant, just try alcohol. 1/10 (I tend not to give zeros.) By the way, it's shot on video.

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Blood Lake (1987) C-90 min. D: Tim Boggs. Doug Barry, Angela Darter, Mike Kaufman, Travis Krasser, Tiny Frazier, Andrea Adams. This has to be the most hilariously awful movie I have ever seen, and clearly the worst slasher film ever. A chunky killer begins murdering teenagers in a secluded house on the lake. Why? Who cares? Features probably the worst acting of any film in recent memory. Also features several long scenes in which nothing happens (such as the card playing scene). And what the hell is with that ending? RATING: 1 out of 10 (ONLY because you can't have 0 out of 10). Rated R for graphic violence and strong language.

Near as I can tell the budget consisted of the cost of the camcorder, the tape and probably a couple of pizzas for the cast and crew. Something something, kids at lake house, something something, murderous hillbilly. Kind of in a category where it's almost not even fun to mock. Makes The Room look like a masterpiece.