They Crawl

Another hokey Sci-Fi channel offering, this time the monsters on the loose are smart cockroaches that swarm around a lot. The cucarachas croak a bus driver who likes to smash his bus through office building lobbies, then somebody gets killed in a bombing. You guessed it: a government conspiracy is behind it all.

Our heroes include a Jordache Jeans commercial guy (brother of the bombing victim), and a lady cop who shoots anything she sees: roach swarms, boxes, trucks, cars, buildings, into mid-air, and occasionally even a bad guy. When Officer Ripley runs out of ammunition with one weapon, she grabs another gun and resumes firing. As for Jordache, he just sticks his nose everywhere, while bodies pile up. The cop captain is the usual skeptic who does nothing, and the head honcho nasty guy is a comical stereotype, who snarls when he talks. They even had the nerve to use the ridiculous "bad guy pauses to explain the evil plot to the good guys before shooting them" routine. The obvious poetic justice is served, of course.

But stay tuned for the grand finale. The debut of one of the most hilariously inept monster creatures ever spawned still awaits you. He was about as intimidating as a Teletubby, and the final scene had me laughing until I could hardly breathe.

A hilariously stupid movie.

There are some bugs, and some footage that is inserted from other films. Then there is a confrontation with a character called Tiny Frakes (Mickey Rourke)

Tiny (Rourke) mumbles for a minute or two then flees wildly, racing through the building and out of sight. Much like he should have fled his agents office when they suggested he cameo in this movie.

This film could easily be a comedy, unless someone is 15 years old or younger. Rourke shows up only once and for about 5 min. The man obviously doesn't take his job seriously, not anymore... The whole concept of this movie is a joke! We 've seen it again hundreds of times. And the final scene! What an idea! Thousands of programmed mutant-robot-(god knows what else)-cockroaches come together to form a giant monster cockroach!!! GIVE US PEOPLE A BREAK!

I have noticed in a lot of my reviews I have mentioned how beer may make the movie better. There is not enough beer on Earth to make this movie watchable!!! This movie just...SUCKED!! Bad acting,story,plot,effects and so on. It's not even bad in a good way and I like bad movies. I have had more entertaining dumps than this flick!!

Oke I confess, I bought this film. To my defense I can say that it was on sale in a local supermarket and the box said there were bugs, lots of them.

So when I popped in the movie I saw the whole action part of redheat with the busses ( only 1 person mentioned this while reviewing, am I that old:), the last action hero bit with the exploding house and the rush hour bit with the exploding floor. Oh yes and the exploding warehouse bit from that stinker with that guy from the matrix, forgot the title and I am too lazy to check for it, the movie isn't worth it.

on the bright side, well it does have its share of explosions. that are out of place even if you don't spot the films there ripped out of. The general setting is so cheap every B movie veteran can smell something fishy while watching it. But one can laugh about the crappy insects that ran straight out of a computer, the fact that the jeep the main character drives has a broken mirror in once scene and a fixed mirror in the other and one can giggle when seeing the uber roach at the end.

Which is by the way the only decent idea in the whole movie. As already stated the plot is not there at all, uncle Mickey just walked on the wrong set - this guy looks like utter s**t btw, what has happened to him- and the very important plot question ( how are the bugs controlled) is forgotten.

My advice, let someone else rent it ( and let someone else pay for it) fall asleep until the last few minutes and then catch the uber roach which is also crappy but shows at least a cool idea behind it.

And on a sidenote, why on earth are movie companies stock footaging the action scenes from their movies to stinkers like this? I have seen it plenty of times already and it truly shocks me to see this??