Survival Island

...one of the worse movies ever made. It's so incredibly stupid that actually after a nice blunt or two you might even have fun with it. 1/10 (2/10 if you count this "underwear collecting contest" for a fresh idea)

I think the introduction was the best part of the movie. Yes, that part where you have to be spoon fed an explanation about you are seeing (because the director thinks it's a novel idea!) Plainly, no one actually needs this explanation. I think it makes good decoration.

One thing surprised me. The visuals of the "natives" and their relationship to the piñata were interesting to watch, "most" of the time. The quality of the whole thing had that professionally rehearsed quality that you beg for in a cartoon.

If it weren't for that introduction, I may have not stayed over the 15 minute mark to see what this movie was all about.

The transition from the actually better-than-it-deserved intro-music to the MINDLESS GRUNGE sound of those inane rock guitars was my first indication that I was about to turn this movie off in a few minutes.

Then, the water gun games between the rafts. Wow, that was so compelling. The minutes were ticking. My palms were getting wet and sticky. But I forged on!

Then came the earth-shattering character development scene about a Port-O-Potty! I was breathless with anticipation. What could they think of next?

Then, believe it or not! That grungy music again! Oh, I was captivated!

After this, I had to make a life-changing decision. Would I stay or go?

OK...I stayed. Then, more character development about young people smoking pot. Folks, this was deep! You gotta believe me, here!

Then, of course comes the discovery of the awe-inspiring Piñata from hell! What does our hero do? He hits it with a stick, of course! What else would any self-respecting dude-about-town do in a situation like this?

And then.......

YOU GUESSED IT! YES!

IT came to LIFE!

And then why NOT spoil it? The rest of the plot resembles the Friday the 13th genre, of course. Pick them off, one by one...oh the TENSION, the DRAMA...the utter "grippingness" of it all!

The unanswered questions, the doubts, the comic relief...oh, the sheer artistry...

The UTTER, UTTER, uselessness of it all!

(CLICK)

I had a chance to see a private screening of this movie. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, waste your money to go see this movie in a theater or to even rent it. Pinata is hands-down the worst movie I've ever seen. The dialogue is horrible; in one scene, one of the characters describes that the sound the pinata makes is like the pain and suffering of a village of people, which incidentally matches the exact myth of the pinata. The biggest problem I had with this movie is that it is neither horror or a satire on horror; rather it is stuck somewhere in between. At least with the "Scream" trilogy and "Scary Movie" you get a decent attempt to ridicule the horror genre. Pinata seems uncertain of whether to ridicule the genre or be one of its movies. Please don't see this movie.

I must say, this movie is a joke. From a distance, the plot sounds like a funny comedy from the 80's like "Weekend at Bernie's" or something. But as soon as you find out that this film is meant to be a serious horror flick, it officially becomes your first step towards the cliff dive that is "Demon Island" (or as some know it as, "Pinata: Survival Island"). A demonic piñata? Really? That's the best you could come up with? The "Wizard of Oz" has a more frightening plot (and at least that had attacking, flying monkeys. Now THAT will scare you).

What really put the icing on the cake for me, though, is the "special effects" that were used. Now, don't get me wrong, there were a few (and I use the term lightly) shots that I thought made the "monster" look kinda cool, but everything else just made it look like it came straight out of a Power Rangers movie. Seeing what the "monster's" vision looked like just made it worse. I was like watching a frame-by-frame video of a photo-negative kaleidoscope. About 3/4 of the time I couldn't even tell what was going on, making it look like just a giant mess of colors on the screen. I do have to applaud the effects artists for making things like the explosions look just like those from the terrorist shooting games in the arcade. Bravo.

Overall, I have to say this looks more like an attempt at a more grown-up version of the "Scooby-Doo" movie (especially the scene where they are being chased on the 4-wheelers, and if you've seen both movies, you'll know exactly what I mean). The only people I would recommend this film to are ones that are either really high or want a bad movie to laugh at.

College co-eds are stalked by an evil pinata in a tropical paradise! A premise like that could be the makings of a cult classic.

Alas, "Pinata: Survival Island" seems neither inspired nor clumsy enough to reach that status. The film DOES qualify as an obscure horror hoot, especially in the early scenes of the wicked pinata's reign of terror.

"Buffy"'s Nicholas Brendon is always a welcome presence, but there's little to his role here, compared with your average BtVS rerun.