Donald Faison credited as playing...
Petey Jones
- Petey Jones: [has hand raised for a high-five and is smiling]
- Coach Boone: Put your hand down.
- [Petey does as told]
- Coach Boone: You're smiling.
- Petey Jones: Yes.
- Coach Boone: Yes, sir. Why are you smiling?
- Petey Jones: 'Cause I love football. Football is fun.
- Coach Boone: Fun, sir? It's fun?
- Petey Jones: Yes.
- Coach Boone: You sure?
- Petey Jones: I think...
- Coach Boone: Now you're thinkin'. First you smile, then you thinkin'. You think football is still fun?
- Petey Jones: Uh, yes.
- Coach Boone: Sir.
- Petey Jones: Yes- no, sir.
- Coach Boone: No?
- Petey Jones: Um, it was fun.
- Coach Boone: Not anymore though, is it? *Is* it?
- Petey Jones: Not right now, no.
- Coach Boone: No, it's not fun anymore. Not even a little bit.
- Petey Jones: Uh... no.
- Coach Boone: Make up your mind. Think since you're thinking. Go on, think. Is it fun?
- Petey Jones: No, sir.
- Coach Boone: No? Absolutely not?
- Petey Jones: Zero fun, sir.
- Coach Boone: [addresses team] All right, listen up! I'm Coach Boone. I'm gonna tell you about how much... *fun* you're gonna have this season.
- Petey Jones: Hey, hey, Lastik man what happened to you?
- Louie Lastik: [holding back, in fake pain] Man I just gave your momma a piggy-back ride and she weighs twice as much as I do!
- Petey Jones: That ain't funny!
- [after Petey makes a fumble]
- Coach Boone: Petey, how many feet are in a mile? How many feet are in a mile?
- Petey Jones: [mumbles]
- Coach Boone: 5,280 feet! You pick this ball up and run every one of 'em! You're killing me, Petey! You're killing me!
- Petey Jones: [Sunshine is running his hand through his newly-cut hair] Hey now, all that rubbin' ain't gonna make them golden locks grow back no faster, now, you know that, right?
- Big Ju: What you doin' man?
- Louie Lastik: Eatin' lunch.
- Big Ju: I see you eatin' lunch, but why you eatin' over here? Why not go eat over there and eat with your people?
- Louie Lastik: Man, I don't have any people. I'm with everybody, Julius.
- Petey Jones: Yeah, he's just a light-skinned brother.
- Big Ju: Yeah, and I'm a dark-skinned cracker.
- Petey Jones: [laughs]
- Jerry 'Rev' Harris: Come on Julius, he's just another blessed child in God's lovin' family.
- Blue Stanton: [Blue starts to hum]
- Big Ju: Come on, Blue. Let me...
- Petey Jones: [Petey joins in with Blue]
- Jerry 'Rev' Harris: God, we come before you today. To ask you to soften Big Julius Cambell's heart.