Miranda Richardson credited as playing...
All Elizabeths
- Blackadder: And here is a front page of Macbeth, signed by William Shakespeare himself.
- Lady Elizabeth, George, Darling: Who?
- Melchett: Oh, come on, you know this... he's the fellow who invented the ball-point pen.
- [Blackadder, on pain of death, must produce a present for Elizabeth I. He opens his wallet and shows the queen some plastic cards]
- Blackadder: Now these may not look much.
- Queen Elizabeth: They don't.
- Blackadder: [nervously] No, but... umm... umm... well, well let's say... let's say... let's say that there was a place where you could buy absolutely everything.
- Melchett: [laughing] We already have those Blackadder and they're called markets.
- Blackadder: Right, right. Well, imagine that but times ten. As it were a "super" market.
- Blackadder: [holds up a blue Tesco Clubcard] Now if you gave someone at one of these "super" markets this... he would give you some "bonus points". Which would mean that once a month you could buy a tin of baked beans at half the normal price.
- Queen Elizabeth: Kill him.
- Queen Elizabeth: Ah, Lord Blackadder.
- Blackadder: [stunned] Elizabeth... the first?
- Queen Elizabeth: You're wearing very weird clothes. And you're looking rather old and ugly, actually.
- Blackadder: Is that right?
- Queen Elizabeth: Of course I'm right, I'm always right!
- Nursie: Of course it's right!
- Queen Elizabeth: Melchie?
- Melchie: M'am.
- Queen Elizabeth: Edmund is being very cheeky. Shall I laugh at him or chop his ugly head off?
- Melchie: Well one hates to be harsh, m'am, but I do think a bit of choppy choppy is the only apt reaction.
- Queen Elizabeth: Very well then. Kill him!
- Blackadder: [Blackadder, on pain of death, must produce a present for Elizabeth I. He opens his wallet and shows the queen some plastic cards] Now these may not look much.
- Queen Elizabeth: They don't.
- Blackadder: [Nervously] No, but... umm... umm... well, well let's say... let's say... let's say that there was a place where you could buy absolutely everything.
- Melchett: [laughing] We already have those Blackadder and they're called markets.
- Blackadder: Right, right! Well, imagine that but times ten! As it were a "super" market.
- Blackadder: [Holds up a blue Tesco Clubcard] Now if you gave someone at one of these "super" markets this... he would give you some "bonus points". Which would mean that once a month you could buy a tin of baked beans at half the normal price.
- Queen Elizabeth: Kill him!