Tim McInnerny credited as playing...
All Darlings
- George: Well you certainly won the bet, Blackadder. Here's your 10,000 francs...
- Blackadder: What do you mean, "francs?"
- George: What do you mean "What do I mean, 'francs'?"
- Darling: We've been using francs for over 200 years.
- Melchett: Yes, ever since Wellington lost the battle of Waterloo.
- Blackadder: And here is a front page of Macbeth, signed by William Shakespeare himself.
- Lady Elizabeth, George, Darling: Who?
- Melchett: Oh, come on, you know this... he's the fellow who invented the ball-point pen.
- Duke de Darling: My lord emperor, I the Duke de Darling bring news. The English have reached Waterloo.
- Napoleon: Good, prepare to attack.
- Duke de Darling: But first, I would like to ask, why do we want to invade Britain in the first place? I mean the wine is made of the pipi of cows and their women all have big beards!
- Napoleon: We invade, Darling, because the British think they are so tough! They think we French are sissies! They call us weeds and whoopsies and big girl's blouses!
- Duke de Darling: With respect, my emperor, we are whoopsies. We invented the tapestry, the soufflé and the sweet liqueur. We will be slaughtered the minute we mince up the hill.
- Napoleon: Do not despair! It is my firm belief that God hates the British. He will intervene miraculously. He will send us a glorious victory on this field of Waterloo!
- Duke de Darling: Oh Bravo!
- Darling: It tastes as if someone with a bad chest cold has taken two spoonfuls of Benylin to loosen the phlegm, and then coughed all over an avocado.
- Baldrick: Well, funny you should say that Sir, because...
- Blackadder: Yes, thank you Baldrick, yes. Thank you. You may go now.