The Newcomers

Boy this movie is about as exciting as 'New - Improved! Vanilla Pudding'. And SO much is SO wrong.

They can't afford to live in Boston - so they move to Vermont? What? And into a house that would run close to a million dollars there with some of the nation's highest property taxes, very mediocre pay levels, and massive taxes on everything. Believe me, if you can't afford to live in Boston, you SURE can't afford Vermont.

Not one person in the whole movie talks with a Vermont accent. Not. A. One. One thing was accurate, when the family showed up at their new house there, the neighbors immediately dissed them as 'flatlanders'. THAT is truth. Anyone who moves there is called a 'flatlandah' and advised that no matter how long they live there, they 'can never be a real Vahmontah' and being told "real Vahmontahs like this' and "real Vahmontahs do that" etc. The place is like a giant clique and they are not eager to welcome flatlanders and that would include people from Boston.

When the young gas station attendant rushes out to pump the gas into the family car... that's not happening there OR anyplace else.

The family DOES go to a church with a woman pastor, that part is realistic, although attending church in Vermont is about as popular as sword swallowing.

But to sum up, this movie is beyond banal and does not in any way represent any sort of a realistic view of Vermont. And in defense of Vermont, the people in the movie are so dumb it's not even fair to real "Vahmontahs". Honestly, this is just the dumbest movie. It could have been written by third-grade class.

And not a single person in the whole movie speaks like a 'real Vahmontah'.

Every once in a while -- perhaps more frequently than that -- you watch a movie and marvel at the the notion that someone would spend the time and resources to transform a stunningly incompetent script into a feature film. This particular film is so lacking in plot and character development that it is almost a marvel to behold. The motivations of the characters are laughably non-existent. And there is a pervading blandness to the whole affair that would send even the most undemanding young viewers into deep coma.

I can't imagine why I took the time to slog through this unfortunate excuse for entertainment, although I did get a little bit of exercise from constantly shaking my head and wondering how much worse a "family film" could get. How Kate Bosworth and Jeff Fahey got involved is a question best answered by their respective agents.

By the way, the packaging on this DVD suggests, perhaps, that this is a "boy and his dog" movie. It is not. The dog is a random addition that is every bit as disconnected to the "story" as I was.

Avoid this at all costs, and add 90 precious minutes to your life.

Have you ever been driving from A to B, passed a random church to which you've never been, seen a sign that there was a family play about to start, and stopped to go in and watch? If so, then this movie is right for you!

This is a church play, without the communal or family connection you would actually have at your own church. There is a great moral story, but it is delivered by actors who although probably nice people exhibit the skill of a second grader trying to read aloud Shakespeare. The director seems to have at least shaken hands with a real director, perhaps at a Universal Studios Tour, and the music director is most likely the church choir's organ lady who has temporarily switched to a piano and continues to repeat the same three bars over and over for the entire length of the film, varying only slightly between the moods in each scene. I will admit, I think the cinematographer actually had more than a cell phone for the camera, and despite the sophomoric direction actually seemed to get some good angels and lighting. I half expected at each scene's end for the fade to black to be interrupted by curtains parting and the cast to appear on line, holding hands and bowing.

This isn't a terrible movie. Just don't expect anything more Hollywood than a play from a church.

I like this movie a lot. Very simple story and simple family. I like this kind of simple story very much. Simple happy family with a pet. ❤

This is a refreshing story and film for children and some adults who would like a somewhat "realistic" film. This film makes you feel almost as though you were sitting right next to the actors while they go about their lives in the movie. Compared to other films, this one is not always "smooth," and some little acts don't always "fit," but you might appreciate the "innocence" and lessons taught by the movie.