Adam Sandler credited as playing...
Henry Roth
- Henry: Appreciate your time. Not everybody would have stopped like you. You're real sweet.
- Lucy: Oh, yeah. Thank you.
- Henry: Okay.
- Lucy: Okay.
- [Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car]
- Henry: Hah! I can't believe you fell for that!
- Lucy: Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car...
- Henry: Oh... I'm so sorry. I was just joking around.
- Lucy: I can't believe you fell for THAT!
- Lucy: Yeah, that's right. Take that! And that! And that! And that! And that!
- Henry: You got him. You got him. Enough. Enough.
- Lucy: Are you okay?
- Henry: Yes.
- Lucy: Okay, I'll be right back. Hey! Come here!
- Henry: No, no, no. I think he's had enough. I'm sorry.
- Ula: My eye!
- Henry: You got him!
- Lucy: Not good enough.
- Ula: Oh, Kamehameha!
- Henry: He learned his lesson!
- Young Woman: So, you must be Lucy's friend. The one who made the tape.
- Lucy: I think he's more than my friend. You're my boyfriend, right?
- Henry: Yes, ma'am.
- Stacy: So every day you help her to realize what happened and you wait patiently for her to be okay with it... then you get her to fall in love with you again?
- Henry: Yes, ma'am.
- Stacy: [softly, almost beneath her breath] Gosh!
- [a longing sigh, then back slaps her husband's chest right over his heart]
- Stacy: You asshole! You don't even open the fricking car door for me anymore.
- Jennifer: [everyone breaks out in laughter] You're in trouble!
- [even more laughter]
- Jennifer: I gotta go tinkle.
- Old Hawaiian Man: [about Henry's drawing on a napkin] Can I have that? I need something to wipe my ass with.
- Henry: Ha ha ha. Shut up!
- Old Hawaiian Man: Are you staring at me or her? 'Cause you're starting to freak me out.
- Henry: Settle down and eat your pancakes, huh.
- Dr. Keats: And now ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce you to our most distinguished clinical subject: Tom
- Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom.
- Henry: Henry.
- Marlin: Marlin.
- Doug: Doug.
- Lucy: Lucy.
- Ten Second Tom: Hi. Oh, those are cool flip flops. Where did you get them?
- Doug: You like those? It's interesting story. I was over on the North Shore the other day...
- Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom.
- Henry: Henry.
- Ten Second Tom: Hi.
- Marlin: Marlin.
- Henry: [disgusted] The Beach Boys? How nice of that man to give me a CD that will remind me of all the wonderful times I shared with his daughter. What an asshole!
- Henry: [starts singing off key to "Wouldn't It Be Nice", then breaks out in tears] Why would you do this to me, you sick bastard?
- Henry: [leans against the boat wheel sobbing, then looks back up] Oh my God, is he trying to tell me something?
- Lucy: I don't know who you are, Henry... but I dream about you almost every night.
- [apprehensive pause]
- Lucy: Why?
- Henry: What would you say if I told you that notebook you read every day used to have a lot of stuff about me in it?
- Lucy: I would say that that makes a lot of sense.
- Henry: You erased me from your memories because you thought you were holding me back from having a full and happy life. But you made a mistake. Being with you is the only way I could have a full and happy life. You're the girl of my dreams... and apparently, I'm the man of yours.
- Lucy: [barely able to contain herself, she reaches out and shakes his hand] Henry. It's nice to meet you.
- Henry: Lucy, it's nice to meet you too.
- Ten Second Tom: [just as they are about to kiss] Hi, I'm Tom!
- Henry: [on First Date #1] You know, why don't you try this? It's a kind of hinge.
- Lucy: Now, why didn't I think of that?
- Henry: You're too close to the object. Don't be too hard on yourself.
- Lucy: You're right. Sometimes you need an outsider's perspective.
- Henry: Fresh eye never hurts.
- Lucy: I'm Lucy.
- Henry: Yes. I'm Henry Roth. Nice to meet you.
- Lucy: Nice to meet you.
- Henry: Okay, this is her. Start beating me up. Make it look good.
- Ula: Give me your wallet. Okay, haole, what do you think? You can come to this island, eat our pineapple.
- Henry: Help me! Not so hard. Take it easy.
- Ula: Try to bang our women. Making my sister clean your hotel room.
- Henry: Okay. What does that have to do with this? Relax. Hey! Hey! Help me, please!
- Ula: Stupid haole!