Jan Hooks credited as playing...
Dixie Glick
- Jiminy Glick: My, that's a nice beaver.
- Dixie Glick: Why, thank you.
- Jiminy Glick: [Jiminy points at a stuffed beaver] No.
- Dixie Glick: Oh.
- Jiminy Glick: Although yours is nicely... shaped.
- Jiminy Glick: [pointing at Toronto's C.N. Tower] That's a phallic-looking thing! Remind you of anybody?
- Dixie Glick: No.
- Jiminy Glick: You know, Kevin Kline, he had an attitude I didn't appreciate.
- Dixie Glick: Really?
- Jiminy Glick: Yes, he did.
- Dixie Glick: I found him delightful.
- Jiminy Glick: I loved him in "Sophie's Choice". I don't remember anything else he's done, and I told him that. And suddenly he looks at me like I'm like this idiot or this fool. And you know what? I resented that. And suddenly I decided that I hated him in "Sophie's Choice".
- Dixie Glick: All right, now y'all, we can't put this off any more. Now both of you have been in a little trouble at school.
- Jiminy Glick: What's the concern, dear?
- Dixie Glick: Sexual.
- Jiminy Glick: What sexual concerns happened?
- Matthew Glick: Well... I, I don't really know where babies come from.
- Jiminy Glick: [sighs] You are thirteen.
- [to Dixie]
- Jiminy Glick: He's thirteen, have you not spoken to the boy?
- Dixie Glick: I had to explain to YOU how babies can be.
- Jiminy Glick: I know, because my mother was illiterate and she didn't educate me at all. But I don't want him to live through the torment. I was twenty-one, boys, and totally uninformed. Things would happen to me in the downstairs world, and I would go to emergency. I would say, "What's happened? Have I been stung by a bee?" And they'd laugh at me! And that's not the kind of thing I want to have happen to you.
- [to Dixie]
- Jiminy Glick: This makes you look bad as a mother.
- Dixie Glick: I beg your pardon! When you have two boys like this comin' out of your loins at the same time, I believe you've done your duty as a mama.
- Jiminy Glick: What does that have to do with the fact that they don't understand about sex?
- Dixie Glick: It's not my problem. It's WAY above and beyond the call of duty.
- Jiminy Glick: [to Matthew and Modine] At a certain point, the, the male father, the male father daddy, he looks at his wife-lady, and he says "Mmm!"
- [Dixie burps]
- Jiminy Glick: I love the...
- [to Dixie]
- Jiminy Glick: Are you gonna just burp through all this explanation? I'm trying to talk to the boys about something they should know.
- [Dixie burps again]
- Jiminy Glick: [to Matthew and Modine] At some point, the father looks at the mother and she says...
- [Dixie is looking at the floor]
- Jiminy Glick: What are you looking for?
- Dixie Glick: My napkin.
- [farts]
- Jiminy Glick: This is how babies are born, and I want you to listen carefully. Papa, papa male boy, looks at the lady and says "Oh my God, is that shalimar you're wearing?" And you go up to her, and you sniff, you sniff her intensely, and the next thing you know, there's a writhing, and there's a moaning and a groaning, and that's just getting the pants off.