Yeardley Smith credited as playing...
Lisa Simpson
- [Final lines]
- All: [singing] Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer / Had a very shiny nose / And if you ever saw it / You might even say it glows...
- Bart: Like a lightbulb!
- Homer: Bart!
- All: All of the other reindeer / Used to laugh and call him names...
- Lisa Simpson: Like Schnozzola!
- Homer: Lisa!
- All: They never let poor Rudolph / Play in any reindeer games...
- Bart: Like strip poker!
- Homer: I'm warning you two...
- Marge: Then one foggy Christmas eve / Santa came to call... Take it, Homey!
- Homer: Uh, Rudolph get your nose over here / I'll let you guide my sleigh today!
- All: How all the reindeer loved him / As they shouted out with glee / Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer / You'll go down in history!
- Bart: Like Attila the Hun...
- [choking noises]
- Homer: Why you little!
- Patty: It's almost nine o'clock.
- Selma: Where is Homer, anyway?
- Patty: It's typical of the big doofus to spoil it all.
- Lisa Simpson: What, Aunt Patty?
- Patty: Oh nothing, dear. I'm just trashing your father.
- Lisa Simpson: Well, I wish that you wouldn't. Because aside from the fact that he has the same frailties as all human beings, he's the only father I have. Therefore, he is my model of manhood, and my estimation of him will govern the prospects of my adult relationships. So I hope you bare in mind that any knock at him is a knock at me, and I am far too young to defend myself against such onslaughts.
- Patty: Mm-hm. Go watch your cartoon show, dear.
- [Bart and Lisa are writing their Christmas lists on the floor]
- Marge Simpson: All right, children, let me have those letters, I'll mail them to Santa's workshop at the North Pole.
- Bart Simpson: Oh, please. There's only fat guy that brings us presents, and his name ain't Santa.
- [Lisa hands her list to Marge]
- Marge Simpson: Uh --- A pony?
- [Lisa's list has "a pony" written on it five times]
- Marge Simpson: Oh, Lisa you've asked for that for the past three years, and I keep telling you Santa can't fit a pony on his sleigh. Can't you take a hint?
- Lisa Simpson: But I really want a pony, and I've been really really good this year.
- Marge Simpson: Oh, dear, maybe Bart can be a little more realistic.
- [Marge grabs Bart's letter]
- Marge Simpson: A tattoo?
- Homer Simpson: A what?
- [Homer overheard]
- Bart Simpson: Yeah! There cool, and they last the rest of your life.
- Marge Simpson: You will not be getting any tattoos for Christmas.
- [Homer walks over]
- Homer Simpson: Yeah, if you want one you're going to have to pay for it out of your own allowance.
- Bart Simpson: All right!
- Marge Simpson: Homer!
- [Looks at Homer with distain]
- [they're watching the happy little elves on TV]
- Grandpa Simpson: Unadulterated pap.
- Patty: It's almost 9:00.
- Selma: Where's Homer anyway?
- Patty: It's so typical of the big doofus to spoil it all.
- Lisa Simpson: What, Aunt Patty?
- Patty: Oh, nothing, dear. I'm just trashing your father.
- Lisa Simpson: Well, I wish you wouldn't because aside from the fact that he has the same frailties as all human beings, he's the only father I have. Therefore, he is my model of manhood, and my estimation of him will govern the prospects of my adult relationships. So I hope you bear in mind that any knock at him is a knock at me, and I'm far too young to defend myself against such onslaught.
- Patty: Mm-hmm. Go watch your cartoon show, dear.