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Ryan Reynolds, Anna Faris, and Justin Long in Waiting... (2005)

Alanna Ubach: Naomi

Waiting...

Alanna Ubach credited as playing...

Naomi

Photos15

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Quotes6

  • Naomi: Like that bitch needs to be eating dessert anyway.
  • Bishop: Naomi... You know, if you ever want counseling in anger management or... alcoholism, I'd be more than glad to do it for you.
  • Naomi: You'd do that for me? Thank you, I appreciate that. But I think I'd rather you just wash the fucking dishes and and shut the fuck up! Fucking psychobabble-bullshit asshole!
  • Naomi: I hate this fucking place sometimes, you know. Why the fuck do we need four more people on at this time of day, man? Look at this place, it's fucking dead! I swear, Dan needs to clean the *shit* out of his fucking brain sometimes, man. Fucking asshole. What are you looking at, fuck-wad?
  • Naomi: You really want to know why?
  • Monty: Yes I really do.
  • Naomi: Ok Ill tell you why. Its because of THIS!
  • [jumps on the barstool and lifts her skirt]
  • Calvin, Mitch, Monty: OH! MY GOD!
  • Naomi: Yea! Bang! Pow! Pow! Pow!
  • Monty: Its so angry!
  • Naomi: [screeches and hisses like cat]
  • Calvin: Oh GOD does that thing have its shots? Put it away! Just put iy away!
  • Naomi: Dinner is served!
  • Calvin: Well its official, my penis is now just for show.
  • Monty: Mitch you picked a FUCKED up night to start working here.
  • Naomi: I FUCKING HATE FOREIGNERS!
  • Natasha: Dean.
  • Dean: What?
  • Natasha: The old lady at Table 37 wants you to sing the birthday song for her grandson. His name is Timmy, and he's eight years old.
  • Dean: [tosses a cake with Happy Birthday onto the counter from the box] I need birthday singers!
  • Monty: Come on, people! We need birthday singers!
  • Naomi: Fuck.
  • Dean: [the gang walk toward Table 37, clapping and cheering. Dean holds out the cake and brings it to the table, spotting Timmy] There he is. There's the big winner.
  • [sets the cake onto the table where Timmy is]
  • Monty: [excitedly] Yeah!
  • Dean: All right. Attention, guests! Today's a very special occasion. It's Timmy's eighth birthday! Big round of applause.
  • [the guests cheer and applaud]
  • Dean: He's earned it. He's got his whole life ahead of him. The sky's the limit.
  • Dean: [singing] I don't know but I've been told.
  • Monty, Amy, Naomi, Serena, Calvin: [singing] Someone here is getting old!
  • Dean: [singing, Timmy looks frightened] Good news is dessert is free.
  • Monty, Amy, Naomi, Serena, Calvin: [singing] Bad news is we sing off-key!
  • Dean: [singing] Happy birthday...
  • Dean, Monty, Amy, Naomi, Serena, Calvin: [point to Timmy, in unison] TO YOU!
  • [Timmy starts crying in embarrassment, the waiters applaud and cheer. One of them holds up Timmy's arm and waves it in the air]
  • Natasha: Look at the camera!
  • [holding a camera]
  • Dean: Picture time.
  • [the camera snaps and we're revealed the photograph of all the waiters and Timmy posed for the picture, Timmy still cries in the background as this happens]
  • Dean: All right. All right. Cry it off.
  • Naomi: Ok I'll tell you why. It's because of THIS!
  • [jumps on the barstool and lifts her skirt]

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