Delta Delta Die!

Yet so much fun! I have been waiting a long time for just a silly, funny, trashy, entertaining direct-to-video movie with just the right B-movie attitude... and here it finally is! I must say that this desperate little piece of trash had me in stitches from beginning to end. It reminded me of those glory days in the 80s when Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer and Brinke Stevens were headlining fun minor B flicks like Hollywood CHAINSAW HOOKERS and SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA. Of course, I grew up on those films watching USA UP ALL NIGHT, so I may be partial to this particular subgenre, but their tone, their campiness and their outrageousness is the current equivalent of the much missed drive-in movie experience of the 1970s. Just turn off your brain, sit back with some junk food, watch the movie and have a good time.

Things open at the Delta Delta Pi sorority house. House mother Marilyn Fitch (Julie Strain) and her current stock of four buxom sorority girls decide on the fate of Hannah, who has betrayed the stringent rules of their house. Her crime is so severe that the ladies decide the only appropriate punishment is to lock Hannah in the cellar for an entire month. What act could be so bad to require such cruel treatment? Why eating a penis, of course! Yes, these gals are actually (gasp!) flesheating cannibals. To keep their house thriving, they also sell meat pies and other gourmet treats on the side which, you guessed it, contain human flesh. Meanwhile, a male student named Tobias (Joseph Dain) catches on and enlists the aid of former sorority girl and ex-cannibal Rhonda Cooper (Brinke Stevens) to stop them.

The plot is somewhat similar to the seldom-seen horror comedy AUNTIE LEE'S MEAT PIES (starring Karen Black, Michael Berryman, Pat Morita and a google of Playboy Playmates), but this much cheaper videotaped effort (the picture quality is a little dark but tolerable and the sound is alright) goes off in its own enjoyable direction. I don't want to give away too many of the silly gags or the cheesy one-liners, but I would like to talk about the two main reasons this extremely hokey little time-waster is extremely enjoyable when you're in the mood for this type of flick.

First off, I've never been a big fan of Julie Strain, but she really delivers the goods in this film, proving that some things just get better with age (and I am not talking about her looks). Though she has aged well (she's 40 now and looks pretty much the same as she did 15 years ago), she finally seems to have a handle on how to deliver an enjoyably campy performance. She's just so enthusiastic here and seems to have had a blast making this film and that sort of energy rubs off directly onto the viewer.

Tiffany Shepis, who plays Patrice, also has a leg up on her competition, both in this film and in the currently overloaded parade of up-and-coming Scream Queens. She's easily the best actress in this film (with a very sexy snarl and a confident, somewhat conceited way of delivering her lines) and she nails every laugh. She also proves her acting chops by getting in a bar fight with a couple of trashy hos and seducing two guys in the basement after a game of strip poker, performing a sexy strip to a hilariously bad techno song that repeats "make your body move" ad nauseum. I saw Tiffany in brief parts in some Troma movies and also in TED BUNDY (she's the one who escapes), but I must say, she won me over here and I can't wait to see more of her.

In short, those looking for a conventionally "good" horror film should steer clear of DELTA DELTA DIE...Those looking for some sex (with both male and female skin scenes to please just about everyone), cheap gore and just a fun little B-movie should definitely give this one a thumbs up.

Preparing to celebrate their anniversary, a group of women in a sorority prepares for their latest campus-wide fundraising by abducting and killing various men around campus for secret ingredients in a special series of recipes forcing a former sorority member to try to end their reign of chaos.

This here was quite a fun genre effort. Among the better elements here come from the delightfully cheesy setup of the sorority and its set of rules and regulations that go on here. Showing how they're under the various stipulations for how to present themselves as upstanding members of the community so no one gets wind of what they're really doing and given some great signs of their relationship coming together with each other comes off incredibly well. Being able to get away with the student disappearances through the connection with the authorities on campus and how that comes to be gives the film a cheesy enough setup to get started. There's also quite a lot to like with the cheesy attitudes here toward the capturing and butchering of victims. The rather sleazy seduction angles towards the students offer the requisite setup to see the girls use their femininity to capture their victims before taking out their bodies to be the next preparation. The whole idea of the finale where they get overwhelmed by the former sorority member and engage in a series of confrontations with the unsuspecting women has some goofy fun to it as a lead-in to the catfight with a highly unexpected payoff. These factors all manage to provide this one with some likable factors although the film does have some issues to it. That comes about mainly from the rather bizarre attempts at integrating cheesy purposefully into the film through some rather questionable means. Those are mainly forced around the bizarre antics of chopping up victims and playing with the body parts in preparation for the meat from their victims that's the wrong kind of corny. As well, there's also the weird subplot about the backstory of the former member who knows of their bloodthirsty past but is treated way too casually for someone who knows the truth and can potentially disrupt their plans, which coupled with the generally cheap look here bring this one down.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language, Full Male & Female Nudity, and Violence.

Ok, as many people know (especially my site visitors) I LOVE bad horror movies. Especially when they are just gory, boob filled orgies of sex and meaningless violence. I cannot help it. it is born in me. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE good films too! I can appreciate fine horror art. but sometimes a crappy, laugh filled, booby showing, blood spraying, no plot having film can be fun to pass the time. And Delta Delta Die is no exception. This films is what bad horror is all about. Boobs, fins looking women in little nighties, blood, gore, sick plot, etc. it IS entertaining, and it is a fun flick.

BUT...here is the catch: Brinke Stevens. The time has come to let it go. Brinke was NEVER THAT hot to begin with, and time after time, I see films which exploit her body left and right. One in particular was Demon Lust (which also starred a rather chunky Tom Savini as a yo-yo loving mob thug). I mean, sure, full frontal nudity is lovely, but when the woman is an aging, flat-chested, not that hot to begin with actress, it is not needed. Everyone wants to see this woman naked on film. Everyone advertises her as the SCREAM QUEEN. Well, you are wrong! Linnea Quigley, Jamie Lee Curtis, Fay Ray, Syn DeVil, Debbie Rochon, etc...these girls are scream queens. Brinke, is not.

Now, do not misunderstand me here...I am not saying we do not owe Brinke alot for all the work she has done. B-grade horror would be at a loss without all of her roles, for sure. For that I am grateful. She has brought alot to the horror genre. However: I am seeing film after film using her in roles that are just pathetic. Using her past sexually based roles and a vehicle to exploit her name in new, NON-sexual roles is just a film-maker bait and switch technique to get us to buy the dvd's.

Brinke, I love ya...But please, pick some roles that do not rely on your name alone to sell the film. Pick a role that lets you act as I know you can. I have all your films. I know you can act. You do not need to f**k every guy in the film and run naked through the woods for 9 0minutes to sell a film. And for god's sake pick a role with decent dialogue! Where do these writer's learn their technique??!!! JEEZ!

So is Delta Delta Die a good film? Well, sure, if you are not looking for the next Halloween, or Friday the 13th franchise. It goes along with other sorority house films such as Slumber Party Massacre and House On Sorority Row. Watch it, and you will be entertained. And...um...."stimulated".

I liked the film. I just had to rant about this whole Brinke Stevens thing. I hate seeing unused talent.

One last thing: Tiffany Shepis...OMFG! What a babe!

These Shadow Entertainment films are definitely good for one thing...

... your own "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" party.

The story revolves around the "most prestigious" sorority on campus -- Delta Delta Pi. The "Pi Girls" have a secret, though: they systemically murder scores of hunky muscle-studs and bake them into pies! Since the pies sell better than any high-school candy sale ever could -- and are oh-so-low in carbs (this is SoCal) -- why not do it?

Unfortunately, a meddlesome student named Tobias is on to the Pi Girls! But why oh why won't his University dean (there's only one) not take his claims seriously? And what has happened to his best friend? And why the hell is a 40-year-old woman still living in a sorority house? Tobias's meddlesome questions are posing a problem to the Pi Girls way of life, and he must be stopped.

This movie is BAD. And when I mean bad, it's like falling down in front of a bicycle, into a steaming pile of dog crap, while raining(!), and then you're struck by lightening and paralyzed for life.

It is that bad.

Take note of the "Dean's Office" -- aka, someone's parents' den in their SoCal home. I know my campus' administrative facilities have excessive interior windows, pink, wood-paneled walls, and a backyard lying outside. Priceless!

Of course, when I purchased this film, I didn't know that I was buying a soft-core porn. This isn't B-rate horror -- this is C-rate soft-core porn with some sadism thrown in. There is an obligatory strip poker scene, a "sexy lap dance!" that lasts at least 10 minutes too long, and you get to see some huge 40-year-old lady knockers at least 7 times.

But despite all of the bad: bad script, horrid acting, atrocious sets, lighting, and effects -- this movie is perfect for a dorm-room party. Your friends will die laughing at lines like "THE PENIS IS FILLED WITH GERMS AND SPERM!" and "HUHN-UHN!!! NO YOU DIDN'T!!!" and the crazy amounts of forced sexuality. It's a movie to knock, not to enjoy.

Oh, and the DVD is loaded with a slew of hilarious extras, although they are sometimes raunchy, disgusting, and -- even somewhat depressing. I'm a gay man, and I really didn't need to see 40 year old Julie Strain run around for 15 minutes with all sorts of (really bad) dungeon paraphernalia only to see her put the handle of a potato masher...

... well, we'll stop there. You can also see extended cuts of all of the "murder/seduction" scenes with Julie Strain, and they are disturbing. I didn't know if these hunky muscled twenty-somethings were really excited about Strain's dirty talk, but I think they were. My friends and I were in stitches.

And then there's a 20 minute video with Strain and one of the Pi girls at their (real) home which only made me feel more trashy than usual. It made my life seem like an A+ endeavor by comparison.

Bottom line: hilarious movie, hilarious extras, albeit there is sick, middle-aged-on-young sexuality, pointless and fake "gore," and acting that came straight out of a high school drama class.

Check out "Birth Rite" if you want more bad acting/plot/gore, less sexuality.

I bought this film in Blockbusters for a pound thinking "This looks awful, I bet it will be really funny!" How wrong I was.

If you want to watch a B movie with tits and arse watch 'Showgirls,' Delta Detla Die has the thinest of plots with weak acting from all but a few great actresses who must have been down on their luck when they agreed to do this film.

The script is weak and at best there are one or two witty lines of dialogue. The idea that a sorority who eats the flesh of men was pretty good, unfortunately it lacks commitment on the script. Would have been better with maybe a slightly larger budget, some different casting and a script reworking.

Thankfully the movie doesn't take itself too seriously or it would have been far worse.