Take My Eyes

Writer-director Iciar Bollaín's film, TAKE MY EYES (Spain 2003) is full of boldness and nuance, approaching 'full frontal' (almost a pun here) the delicate 'taboo' subject on spouse abuse in love and marriage. The exceptionally talented and selfless portrayal of the couple by Laia Marull as Pilar (the young wife/mother) and Luis Tosa as Antonio (the husband/abuser) made their scenes together - both the tender moments and violent events, convincing and complete. It's heartbreaking to see these two people who could be so in love (felt through the intimate lovemaking scenes, the calm moments they enjoy each other by the river) yet juxtaposed by the traumatic turn of events (seen through the 'explosive' frightful situations). Bollaín, with Marull and Tosa, did not shy away from the volatile subject and key scenes - it is no doubt devastating to behold yet the impact of the situation is truly felt and may also leave us shaking. Kudos to such giving and fearless performances and production decisions.

The Toledo, Spain, locales (especially by the river and bridge) seen in the film are as beautiful as I visited in Fall 2003. I remember the museum where Antonio waited outside for Pilar. He tried. He wanted to be a loving husband to her, but he couldn't help himself. It almost seem like uncontrollable 'alcoholic dependency', his jealous rage generated from fear of losing Pilar, whom he believes he loves in his own possessive ways. While Pilar also tries. She practically loses herself in trying to please Antonio and be 'blinded' by his waves of tenderness towards her. She's struggling to be a good wife and responsible mother to their little boy. She's also trying to find herself through the process.

I recall the wisdom from poet Kahlil Gibran's book "The Prophet" on Marriage: yes, you shall be together forever more, but there should be spaces in your togetherness. "Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts." And on Love, that it does not possesses, Gibran said: "And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course."

TAKE MY EYES gives us a rare chance to observe closely the various aspects/perspectives of a domestic violence situation, and offering viable option on the part of the woman. It may not be an easy film to watch due to frank emotional depiction, but it is superbly delivered by a fantastic cast besides Marull and Tosa. The script, co-written by Bollaín and Alicia Luna, contains supporting storyline (including a wedding and Scottish bagpipes and kilts - cultural diversity, girl talk, men talk, laughs and heartaches). Production is excellent in every respect: cinematography, editing, art direction, music score, sound and all. Highly recommend this film, with no hesitation.

One of the first negative responses the critics give about the Academy Award is how there is only one award for the rest of the world, that is, Best Foreign Film.

I do like Hollywood films and in fact, about 80% of the movies I watch are Hollywood movies. But this time I am going to write about a Spanish film originally entitled "Te Doy Hasta Mis Ojos", which translates into "Take my Eyes".

The movie is directed by Iciar Bollaín and stars Luis Tosar as Alfonso and Laia Marull as Pilar.

The movie's beginning might as well be a suitable ending with, a determined Pilar and her son running away from home to refugee at Pilar's sister, Ana's house.

The reason and main theme of the movie are soon revealed, Pilar is beaten by her psychotic husband, Alfonso. We then start understanding the difficult, but yet common, couple relationship they live through.

Pilar and Alfonso both love and need each other, which is the main reason why Pilar returns with him. Unfortunately, there are other factors affecting Alfonso, whom even though is attending an anger management program, has several outbursts of anger.

Being the black sheep of his siblings, being at a work he dislikes, and not liking Pilar's new job, which is making him insecure of her faithfulness. The truth is Pilar is only enthusiastic about doing something she likes, her husband misunderstand this leading to the mental disturbing final act.

If I had to briefly describe this movie, I will probably say "Cruelly Real". An uncomfortable feeling is always present. Making you willing to just stop the movie, but at the same time, gluing you to your seat until its ending.

The characters are really well portrayed and even though you feel no sympathy at all for Alfonso, you still try to comprehend the reasons behind his behavior.

I will like to advice it is a really heavy movie but it is surely recommendable, since this is a problem found in societies all around the world, and this movie portrays what a family under this conditions has to live through.

I've already seen this film twice and the subsequent viewing has not diminished much director Iciar Bollain's powerful treatment of domestic violence. In fact, I was actually reluctant to see it again because its potent portrayal of spousal abuse was too disturbing.

There are two things notable about this film that make it stand out from other films on the same subject. One is that it features almost no violence. In fact, there is only one full-blown case of abuse portrayed, and it is less about physical abuse than it is humiliation and emotional abuse.

Another is the nuanced portrayal of the abusive husband. For this, credit must go to actor Luis Tosar, who portrays Antonio. Although the film does its best to give a more balanced portrayal by showing that Antonio does go to therapy and makes some attempt to change his ways, it is Tosar's performance that brings out his human side.

It would have been easy for Tosar to have demonized Antonio, particularly since the actor already a scary appearance, what with his bushy eyebrows and deep-set eyes. But Tosar chooses to take the high road in his performance, focusing on Antonio's deep-seated insecurity and inferiority complex, which are the roots of his violence towards his wife.

His most notable scene is the last one in the film when his wife finally leaves him. As she and her friends go around the apartment packing up her things, the expression on his face is not one of anger but of incomprehension.

But equal credit should be given to Laia Marull, who portrays the wife, Pilar. Because of her performance, the filmmakers literally do not have to show much violence. The literally palpable fear she shows when Antonio is about to go into once of his rages makes that unnecessary.

The film also shows the sexual bond between Pilar and Antonio in order to explain why she continues to return to him despite his abusive behavior, through a frank sex scene that would be possible only in Europe, since American movie makers seem averse to that kind of frankness.

Te doy mis ojos is difficult to watch at times, because of the intensity of its emotional violence. But it is ultimately rewarding for the insights it gives on spousal abuse and the relationship between abusive husband and abused wife.

This movie takes a brutally honest approach at the tragic reality of spousal abuse. This topic has been addressed before, but this movie deals with the subject matter better than any other I can recall seeing.

An effective performance by Luis Tosar, as the abusive husband Antonio, develops the layers of emotions in this imposing and frightening character in an effort to understand why this violence is occurring. While certainly not presenting an advocate's position to defend his cruel and vicious behavior, the film also resists the temptation of exploiting the volatile outbreaks. The film shows degrading speech and physical battery to the wife, while not going overboard with bloody, gory attack just for their own sake. He attends support groups to discuss with a psychologist and other abusers the root causes of the action, and makes a sincere effort to change his ways. Gradually, the motivations for his irrational action, although becoming clearly understood, are still properly advanced as totally unacceptable.

Laia Marull, as the abused wife, is not stereotyped, either. She is shown as an intelligent and capable person, making an honest effort to confront the situation, while struggling with the conflict of somehow preserving the marriage. There are many artistic metaphors about the passion of their marriage reflecting the very problem they are dealing with. I also like the wife's museum tour presentations, where she is clearly talking not only of the paintings, but of her own aspirations. Both of the principals are splendid in their roles, especially in their interaction with one another.

Much could be written of the rich double-layered symbolism of several other scenes. Suffice it to say this is a beautifully done movie with an ending, that in all its simplicity, took me by surprise. It was the proper ending, too, I think, for reasons you will understand when you see the movie. Definitely worth viewing.

"Take My Eyes (Te doy mis ojos)" is a frank, classy woman in jeopardy/Lifetime TV for Women film.

A couple of elements raise it above Hollywood's unfortunately already tired treatment of abused wives in such films as "Sleeping with the Enemy" or "Enough", among many others.

First is the superb acting by Laia Marull as "Pilar". Her transformation from frightened mouse to tentative independent to an expressive person with a back bone is riveting. She does look distractingly like Annabella Sciorra, but that means she is beautiful and very womanly.

Second is the emphasis less on the physical violence by an abuser that American films revel in (this film opens right after such an incident) than on the psychological impact, both on abuser and victim. Even amidst strife, this is a passionate couple who were very much in love, though we get hints from the beginning that he was controlling, as in the conversations that include the titular phrase. Unlike Hollywood, her final revenge is not violent but in how she uses those words back at him.

Uniquely, we see the husband (Luis Tosar as "Antonio" looking distractingly like the Irish actor James Nesbitt) as a 360 degree person, with his own family stresses, and not just as the usual evil incarnate. Though we don't see how he got into anger-management therapy sessions for abusers that in the U.S. are usually only a result of a court-order and I couldn't tell from the untranslated credits what experts were consulted for these recreations, they are a fascinating look at an attempt to change abusive behaviors. The shrink finds he has to teach these guys even how to have a conversation with their wives to prevent triggers, let alone what to do when rage starts filling their heads.

Another difference is that while the husband jealously fixates on the possibility of her finding a new lover, a sensitive new age guy character invariably appears in the Hollywood versions (and it was entertainingly non-stereotypical that the Scottish brother-in-law is held up as a prized alternative), the threat to his marriage actually comes from her relationships with the women in her life, from family to friends. Through them she becomes more attuned to humiliation as violence than even her hospital records filled with lied about fractures. It was a bit much symbolically to have her suddenly get into artistic presentations of ancient sexy myths, though it was nice that the credits identified each of the paintings discussed.

While sadly this is a familiar story in filmed outline, the film is continually suspenseful and involving as to what they will do, together and apart.