Tongan Ninja

I accidentally stumbled across this film while pay-TV channel surfing & I was left in stitches of this high farce. This film really does fall into the category of "it's so bad it's good".

The great thing about Tongan Ninja is that it doesn't take itself seriously, it knows that it is cheap, silly & instead of trying hide from this cheapness, it revels in it.

Dodgy stunts, bad & unnecessary dubbing, bad guys giving a runny commentary of themselves being beaten up by Tongan Ninja, a love story and a fearsome looking All Blacks rugby star, Tongan Ninja has it all! Catch it if you get the chance & leave your brains at the door.

Shot in English, and dubbed into English (because they couldn't afford location-based sound recording), Tongan Ninja sets out to be one of the worst films of all time and succeeds beautifully. Our one-dimensional hero is pitted against a variety of one-dimensional enemies, including Knife Man (who uses a knife), Gun Man (who uses a gun) and Action Fighter (who had the assistance of wire team from Lord of the Rings). It tells you something about a movie when the director's commentary features lines like "We were very lucky and had the use of the Lord of the Rings wire team for two weeks. But we had to ask them to make it look cheaper and messier, so it would match the rest of the movie." I'm a big fan of DVD special features. The 'making of' featurette features wonderful interviews with Peter Jackson and the director of Shrek, telling some very inventive lies about their admiration for this movie. The director's commentary is a wonderful insight into the labour of love that no-budget film-making can be, and the actor's commentary is a wonderful insight into actors who are deeply embarrassed to be in such a cheap movie. If you can enjoy bad action movies, this one is absolutely priceless.

Well-pitched parody. Its strength is that it doesn't take itself seriously but clearly appreciates (and sweetly imitates) the over-dubbed corny kung fu movie genre. The DVD commentary is very loose and laid-back (often funny) but explains why the movie was so suited to parodying this style: it took 3 years to film, on a minimal budget. The over-dubbing was necessary because they couldn't afford sound recording on set. It was a simple extra step to deliberately mis-time the dubbing (or you could take the word of the lead actor that they were all carefully schooled in the art of speaking lines out of sync with their lips). A cult movie, best viewed with a group of friends, some popcorn and a few beers. I highly recommend the "extras" on the DVD: hilarious cast interviews as well as interviews with Peter Jackson (who always wanted to make the movie, couldn't get the rights and had to settle for making LOTR).

You are pretty sure you are onto a winner when the person at the video store can't help telling you how fantastic a movie is.

Another good sign is when the missus, who generally loathes both chop socky films and goofy brainless humour, is choking for breath halfway through because she is laughing so hard.

As other reviewers have said, see this with a bunch of like-minded friends in a happy mood if you want a joyful evening. The fights! The dialogue! The car chase! The special effects! And make sure you watch the extras on the DVD. Not yer average "Making Of", trailers or TV spots...

I read a review of this film which compared it to Bruce Lee's Way of the Dragon. What really astounded me about this review was that it's author actually took this movie seriously, as if it were striving for acceptance as a martial arts film.

Why is this world full of people who take things too literally and lack a sense of humour? Tongan Ninja is an hysterical little (dare I say) home-made indy picture with the sole purpose of generating a laugh or two. I don't think there was a 20 second gap in which i wasn't laughing.

To get the most out of this film, do as I did and gather a lot of friends together and watch it in numbers.... unless you are one of the mentioned people I spoke of before who don't have a sense of humour and take everything in life literally (you are the people who will die prematurely). I guarantee you will cack yourself stupid! If you're a fan of Kung-Pow... see Tongan Ninja. If anything, watch it for the opening credit sequence. Pure Gold!