Luke Wilson credited as playing...
Ben Stone
- Ben Stone: So, uh, where's dad?
- Sybil Stone: He ran away. Joined the circus
- Everett Stone: Better circus.
- Patrick Thomas: Yeah. Less clowns.
- Sybil Stone: Are those mushrooms?
- Meredith Morton: Yes, those are mushrooms.
- Patrick Thomas: Isn't Everett allergic to mushrooms?
- Meredith Morton: He is?
- Ben Stone: OK, what we got going on over here? Santa's workshop. Er... OK, wha-what can I do to be of service Meredith, wha-what can I do?
- Meredith Morton: Oh, well... I think I'm all set. Everett had to run some errands in town, then he and Thad are going to meet Julie's bus...
- Ben Stone: Are those mushrooms?
- Meredith Morton: I DIDN'T KNOW!
- Kelly Stone: [Kelly and Ben are seated in an empty football field with a plate of suspected pot-laced brownies Kelly's eating] You want a brownie?
- Ben Stone: No thanks.
- Kelly Stone: They're good.
- Ben Stone: [after a long pause] So... it's worse this time... isn't it?
- Kelly Stone: [lightly] What do you mean?
- Ben Stone: [scoffs] Mom... Dad. I mean Mom.
- Kelly Stone: [sighs] It's not good. We only found out a couple of weeks ago.
- Ben Stone: But she'd known longer than that.
- Kelly Stone: Well, we weren't sure. And she wanted to wait, you know... until after Christmas to tell you kids.
- Kelly Stone: [Ben nods and begins to weep... Kelly puts his arm around him] I know man, I know.
- Ben Stone: [quoting 'Where the Wild Things Are' before he lights the tree] "And now," cried Max, "Let the wild rumpus start."
- Ben Stone: [to Meredith] Don't dilly-dally there, pretty lady. We're all gonna be down here talking about you.
- Ben Stone: [after opening Susannah's Christmas gift] Hey! Is this houndstooth?
- Susannah Stone: Yep! Filene's Bargain Basement.
- Ben Stone: You were shovelling snow.
- Meredith Morton: I... What?
- Ben Stone: You were just a little girl in a flannel night gown. And you were shovelling snow from the walk in front of our house. And I was the snow, I was the snow. And everywhere it landed and everywhere it covered. You scoop me up with a big red shovel. You scoop me up.
- Patrick Thomas: [the family is playing Charades and Thad is up. No one is guessing right, but Patrick finally gets it] Ooh! "Billy Don't Be a Hero"!
- Thad Stone: Yes! THANK you!
- Amy Stone: That's a song?
- Susannah Stone: Yes, it's a song. You've heard it.
- Ben Stone: Whose clue was that? It's not very... it's not good.
- Meredith Morton: Ahem.
- Ben Stone: I'd want a little black baby.
- Everett Stone: You already have a little black baby.
- Ben Stone: Can ya dig it!