The House That Screamed

started with the sequel to this (Hellgate). I've been hooked on Polonia ever since (what is wrong with me?) Come on guys, these Polonia Brothers make these films on like, $10,000, maybe $20,000. What do you expect? A monster that doesn't look like a sock puppet? I actually liked the idea of this movie. The House that swallows up souls, and the sacrifice that has to be made to free them...it's not bad at all. Just plot alone, is it any worst than some of the big named actor Hollywood garbage that comes out? If you can laugh at the very cheap effects, and look deeper to the plot, it's actually worth watching. (I need help, I know).

This movie has made my top 10 worst movies ever made. Nothing about this movie is good.

" A waste of electricity" – a friend of mine said.

I could not say it any better. This movie is a waste of time, money and dvds/tapes. They reused so much footage that it seems like they had like 30min of film for this 78min movie. Some parts were repeated in the same scene. Not only was the acting really bad, the fact that some people must have had the mic about 2 inches away form there face. Making it so the basement TV I watch this one, was booming bass, and I could feel there voices during normal talking. They had tons of horror elements in the movie, but all done wrong. The best actors were the kids.

This movie is only good if you feel like you want to die a little bit inside.

Judging by the quality and content of The House That Screamed, I would have guessed that the film was made by a guy in his early twenties—someone with limited movie-making experience and even more limited resources. Turns out that the directors (yes, it took two people to make this 'masterpiece'), John and Mark Polonia, were 32 when they made this and that they had been involved in the film industry for quite some time. Some people should know when to call it a day.

Shot on video, written on a napkin (probably), and edited on drugs (seemingly), this crappy z-grade home-made horror sees the Polonia brothers undecided as to precisely what approach they want to take: serious art-house horror or exploitative trash. Having failed to come to a decision, they do both, while chucking in any other extraneous ideas that pop into their heads while filming. Thus, we get a film that is part incomprehensible audio-visual experiment and part cheap 'n' cheerful cheese-fest in the vein of Evil Dead II.

Really unconvincing gore, dream sequences shot in negative image (a flick of a switch on the camera and, hey presto, cheap and nasty video effects!); irritating rapid editing of random imagery; awful sound (most notably, an overuse of lightning sound effects even when the weather is fine): in terms of technical proficency, The House That Screamed is a disaster.

Fat ghost girl sex; a deadly plastic doll; the Grim Reaper playing Knock Down Ginger: in terms of actual content, The House That Screamed is pitiful.

Very occasionally, the Polonias manage an effectively creepy shot, such as when writer Marty Beck (Bob Dennis) stands on his porch unaware that a ghostly figure is watching him from the window (reminded me a bit of Insidious here), but any genuine scares or creepy atmosphere seems to be down to luck more than judgement.

While I was flinching at some of the inept handling of this material, I was nonetheless impressed with some of the very eerie and peculiarly effective bits of spookiness here. It really looks like more than one hand is stirring this pot. There's a lot of what looks like college film class 101 basic mediocrity, but then some very nicely done scary moments, and grisly scenes. For example, a nice scary bit is when the writer answers the knock on the door to find nobody, then an apparition appears to look at him from inside the house while he is on the porch unaware. But then, the fight with the doll is ludicrous. It's like Carnival of Souls without the maturity and professional film production values. It could have been much better, but still nice enough to not be a total waste, and reminiscent of those 70s flicks that were just a weird stream of ideas. Works on the level of a nightmare but then Phantasm did that much better.

A ghastly stupid and dull haunted house story. Oh, you Polonia brothers when will you ever EVER learn, you silly boys. If you love something, no matter how much if you're just not good at it, then let the dream die. When I was growing up for a brief time I wanted to be a basketball player, I had three things going against me. I was white, short, and no hand eye cooridination, so I let that dream, albeit fleeting as it was, pass on. OK, not the greatest example, but my point is this, you boys can't make turd after steaming turd and still remain serious in you commitment to film. You may be the LAST people to get the joke, but you will. And on that glorious day, you'll both take up a trade that you're good at. Plumbing perhaps...maybe singing telegrams.

My Grade: F