Vince Vaughn credited as playing...
Eddie
- Eddie: You gotta take this bitch out!
- John Smith: [while taking burned pieces of papers out of a portable furnace to look for clues] Don't tell me how to handle my wife.
- Eddie: [sitting in front of John in a diner] Tell me you got smart and that you killed that lying bitch.
- Jane Smith: [turns around her chair at the bar] This lying bitch?
- Eddie: Guess that was just wishful thinking.
- Eddie: Did you get a look at him?
- John Smith: Little thing. Buck ten, buck fifteen tops.
- Eddie: Maybe he was Filipino!
- John Smith: I'm not even sure it was a him.
- Eddie: You saying you had your ass handed to you by some girl?
- John Smith: I think so. A pro.
- Eddie: [awoken by a message with a job offer of $400,000] Tempting but I don't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars.
- Eddie: [in Eddie's kitchen] This broad is not your wife, she's the enemy.
- John Smith: She tried to kill me.
- Eddie: They all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly, and then wham. They hurt you. How you going to handle it?
- John Smith: [holding an assault rifle, walking past the door] I'm going to borrow this.
- Eddie: I like where your head's at, man.
- Eddie: [in a diner] Did you get any other details on her besides her weight class?
- John Smith: [mumbles while chewing food] Laptop
- Eddie: I'm sorry? You're in the whole zone right now- I'm having a hard time talkin' to ya.
- John Smith: [swallows and says louder] Laptop!
- Eddie: OK. Laptop.
- John Smith: You live with your mother.
- Eddie: [offended] Why would you bring her into this, she happens to be a first class lady!
- Eddie: [at the diner] Well this shouldn't be that difficult, I mean how many chicks are hitters out there? Ya know what I mean?
- Breakfast Diner Waitress: You guys want any dessert?
- Eddie: What do ya have honey?
- Breakfast Diner Waitress: Ice cream...
- Eddie: Ice cream? That sounds delicious, what flavors d'ya have?
- Breakfast Diner Waitress: Chocolate and Vanilla...
- Eddie: I don't like either of those, separately, but maybe mixed together, that could be... a nice lil dish, you know what I mean? And not just a little pink spoon, a like the whole sundae...
- [winks to the waitress]
- Breakfast Diner Waitress: Could be arranged...
- [walks off]
- Eddie: Perfect...
- [to John]
- Eddie: Could be arranged, d'ya hear that? Like to have her kick my ass... d'ya know what I mean?
- John Smith: I'm in love. She's smart, sexy. She's uninhibited, spontaneous, complicated. She's the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
- Eddie: I knew Gladys two and a half years before I asked her to marry me. You have to have a foundation of friendship, brother. The other stuff fades.