Joe Marinelli credited as playing...
Carmine
- Michael: Hey, Carmine... How about a little more positive thinking here, all right? I tell you all the time, you just think a little more positive, you'll get ahead in life.
- Carmine: Like the night with the gas tank? What did I say? "Michael, fill the gas tank up before we leave." And what did YOU say? "We're gonna make it, Carmine. You gotta think positive." Well, I *was* positive... positive that we were gonna miss the double, and positive that we were gonna run out of gas before we got there - which we did.
- Carmine: I got this idea; I don't know why I never told you about it... My cousin Pauly's been into this for a year or so; he's making money hand-over-fist. It's check-cashing. Listen to how this works, it's great: About a year ago, Pauly's out of work. So, one day, he's collecting a check over at unemployment... when this guy approaches him and tells Pauly about this check-cashing business he's running. He lets him know how simple it is, how much bread he can make; and then he checks Pauly out, to make sure he's not connected to the cops or feds. So then he sets Pauly up with the works - false fingerprints, phony ID... Pauly showed me how to use a spray-on surgical glove to cover the prints. Then he showed me how to use a graphite/cold-cream mixture, which creates a glow on any photo taken by any bank. This guy has major, intense banking knowledge. So he starts selling Pauly checks that he's making on his pay-order machine. Then Pauly starts passing these things out left and right, one end of the state to the other, and a few across the border. Nobody caught on in a year, and he's living like Bill Gates. The best part is this: Pauly buys his own United States Money Order machine, and he starts pumping these checks out twice as fast... The other guy's all right; he's not hurting none - he's doing 8 to 10 in Chino for passing off bad checks. The point is, PAULY'S still making a ton of money. We'd only need two checks.
- Carmine: ...I feel like I'm pushing Michael off a cliff here, placing *these* bets.
- Charlie Figs: He'd better take an enema, because his brain is getting clogged. Who's to pay is coming in. I got it from the inside; it's a mortal lock, you can bet your life on it. Now I gotta call my wife; she's going to the gynecologist.
- Carmine: Is she okay?
- Charlie Figs: I think she's having an affair with the doctor, because she's getting checkups *twice a month*. Yeast infection, she says. Yeah, right.