Paul Fitzgerald credited as playing...
Don Proctor
- Don Proctor: I just wanted to inform you all reluctantly that this month's issue will be our last. It's sad news, I'm sure. Now you're all valued employees but as we go under this transition of Life online, I want to be candid with you that some of you will be determined non-vital employees to the new partnership and we'll be deciding which of those positions will be remaining with us over the course of the next week. I also feel sad about that.
- Ted Hendricks: Never fun, this stage, but we do have ahead of us the privilege of publishing what will be the very last issue of Life magazine. We just received a telegram from Sean O'Connell, who has never been willing, I'm told, to speak with the executives here. Well, he broke his long silence and shared his thoughts with us through that old man... Sean O'Connell. I expect full consideration of negative 25 for cover. My most grand. The quintessence of life... what is that?
- Ted's Toner Box Associate: Best. Highest.
- Ted Hendricks: So our cover will probably be the most famous ever because it will have the big quintessence of all time. Full and so rich. So let's see this thing. Let's see it. What am I doing here? What's going on?
- Don Proctor: Negative assets has it. This gentleman here.
- Ted Hendricks: Ah, Major Tom! Can I get that?
- Walter Mitty: It's being processed.
- Ted Hendricks: All right, let's do it. Let's process some quintessence. Come on. Go, now. That's why I'm clapping.