John Goodman: Larry

Father of the Pride

Larry

Larry: [to Kate] Big daddy is home and he's ready for lovin'. It may be 9 o' clock in New York, but right here it's Mountin' Time!

Sierra: [opens locked front door] You guys are back early.
Kate: Why was the door locked?
Sierra: I don't know. The better question is: Why do we live in a world where the doors need locks?
Larry: I think she's got us there.

Mr. Right, Foo-Lin's cat: Tonight she's going to put me in a sailor outfit. Do me a favor, just eat me now.
Larry: Yeah, you know I would, but housecats give me acid reflux.

Sierra: I'm on my way to a party by the reptile house. I probably won't take drugs, but I won't really know until I get there.
Larry: That's fine. See you later.

Larry: [to Kate] Your dad's a real treat. He should go make people laugh in heaven.

Larry: [to Kate] I'm not the kind of guy who goes on TV. I'm the kind of guy who lies in front of the TV. And I'm just sort of hitting my stride with that.

Sarmoti: [talking about the Today show] Katie Couric has got that "good girl but probably wild in the sack" thing going on.
Larry: Brother, you got that right!

Snack: [drinking at a bar and drunkenly slurring words] Hey! None of that talk. You're still the best. Remember I'm always here for you Lar. Now come on, give me a smile.
[strokes Larry's chin]
Snack: Cootchie, cootchie coo...
[vomits in Larry's lap]
Larry: Dude, uncool.

Kate: [after watching an assembly for a "gifted and talented" program] Thank you Mrs. Falvi for a delightful evening of discussion and song. My husband and I had a great time. Didn't we Larry?
Larry: Oh yeah. You guys sure beat the hell out of Dumb Kids Choir.

Kate: [rushes into living room carrying a plastic bag with green substance in it] Larry, this is a nightmare. Look what I just found in Sierra's room.
[hands bag to Larry]
Kate: Please tell me this isn't what I think it is.
Larry: [sniffs bag] Yep, that's catnip.
Kate: Oh God, our daughter's a niphead.
Sarmoti: Nice. You run a tight ship champ.
[pats Larry on the back]
Kate: This explains the locked doors and the weird attitude.
Larry: Look, she's a teenager. She's bound to experiment.
Sarmoti: "Bound to experiment"? Way to parent with authority. Call me when she's pregnant.

Kate: When I was a teenager I never tried catnip. Did you?
Larry: Me? Catnip? Never.
Snack: [drops into room] Hey kitty cats. What's happening?
Larry: [hands plastic bag to Snack] We just found this in Sierra's room.
Snack: Ahhhh- hah ha! This must take you back Lar. Always had the good stuff, huh buddy?
Larry: [waving hands and shaking head in "no don't" gesture]
Snack: Always a party at Larry's. Lots and lots of ladies.
Larry: [slaps forehead in frustration]
Snack: Some say they were only there for the 'nip. But hey, at least they were there. Does this ring any bells?
[starts to spin on his head]
Snack: Whoooooooooooooo!
Larry: [stops Snack's spinning with his hand]
Larry: [to Kate] Heh. He's not doing it right.

Sierra: You guys are insane.
Larry: No! We're a new generation of parents. We had a lot of fun, so now you don't have to.

Sierra: Well congratulations! I didn't want to do drugs before, but now maybe I will.
Larry: You're grounded.
Sierra: You are the worst parents EVER!
Larry: We are not. My parents were!

Larry: [after Hunter refuses to state where his sister is at] So you want to play hardball? Well what's this?
[picks up a spray bottle]
Larry: Oh water! As I recall little kitty cats don't like water.
Hunter: I don't know where she is!
Larry: I've cracked harder nuts than you mister.
[squirts water in his own face]
Larry: Ow! I'm hit! Oh!
[fall on his back to the floor]
Larry: Officer down!

Chutney the Elephant: Larry, do you still have that spare key to my house I gave you?
Larry: What, the turkey lock you out again?
Chutney the Elephant: I don't know what you're implying, but the turkey's just my roomate. We have seperate bedrooms. It's an economic arrangement. I was tired for cooking for one... ah screw it! I'll get my key from someone else.