Anthony Anderson credited as playing...
Mahalik
- Tom Ryan: Ever since the divorce it's like my life has no purpose. Half the time, I walk around feeling like a zombie!
- C. J.: Yo, don't joke about zombies. That shit there - that's real.
- Mahalik: Yo, you know Nashawn, down on 120th Street?
- C. J.: Yeah.
- Mahalik: She told me that she heard a zombie going through her trash the other day. The next morning, she turned up missing.
- Tom Ryan: Uh...
- C. J.: [C.J. interrupts] What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you "turn up missing"?
- Mahalik: 'Cause nobody knows where you are when they realize you ain't there!
- Tom Ryan: Guys, I'm trying to ask...
- C. J.: [C.J. interrupts again] So you telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time.
- Mahalik: No, man. You can't appear and disappear at the same time. The bitch ain't David Copperfield!
- Tom Ryan: Uh, guys...
- C. J.: [C.J. interrupts yet again] Mmm. No, no. But you can't be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. So when you turn up, you're never missing. And when you're missing, you never turn up.
- Mahalik: Unless... you a zombie.
- C. J.: Damn! Hey, that's some plausible shit right there. You should blog about that.
- Mahalik: I'm gonna put that on MySpace.
- C. J.: You do that!
- C. J.: [Mahalik reaches over C.J. for a bag of nuts] Hey, what you doing?
- Mahalik: Relax man. I'm just trying to grab some nuts.
- Mahalik: [reaches over Mahalik for his bag of peanuts] C.J., what are you doin'?
- C. J.: I just wanna eat some peanuts.
- Mahalik: Huh?
- C. J.: [holds up a bag of peanuts] See? Peanuts.