Liam Neeson credited as playing...
Alfred Kinsey
- Alfred Kinsey: [Kinsey is teaching his first class] Who can tell me which part of the human body can enlarge a hundred times. You, miss?
- Female Student: [indignantly] I'm sure I don't know. And you've no right to ask me such a question in a mixed class.
- Alfred Kinsey: [amused] I was referring to the pupil in your eye, young lady.
- [class laughs]
- Alfred Kinsey: And I think I should tell you, you're in for a terrible disappointment.
- Final Interview Subject: We'd been married for 23 years. We have three marvelous children. And as soon as my youngest left to go to college, I took a job - in an arts foundation. I met a woman there - a secretary in the grants office. We became fast friends and - before long, I fell in love with her. This came as quite a shock as you might imagine. The more I tried to ignore it, the more powerful it became. You have no idea what its like to have your own thoughts turn against you like that. I couldn't talk to anyone about my situation. So, I found other ways to cope. I took up drinking. Eventually, my husband left me. Even my children fell away. I came very close to ending it all.
- Alfred Kinsey: Its just another reminder of how little things have changed in our society.
- Final Interview Subject: What are you talking about? Things have gotten much better.
- Alfred Kinsey: Oh? What happened?
- Final Interview Subject: Why you did, of course. After I read your book I realized how many other women were in the same situation. I mustered the courage to talk to my friend and she told me, to my great surprise, that the feelings were mutual. We've been together for three happy years now. You saved my life, sir.
- Reporter: Any plans on a Hollywood picture based on the book?
- Alfred Kinsey: I can't think of anything more pointless.
- Thurman Rice: There's a cure for syphilis and it's called abstinence.
- Alfred Kinsey: Penicillin works just as well - permanently!
- Clyde Martin: Just one more question. You've just told me your entire history: childhood, family, career, every person you've ever had sex with. But there hasn't been a single mention of love.
- Alfred Kinsey: That's because it's impossible to measure love. And, as you know, without measurements there can be no science. But I have been thinking a lot about the problem lately.
- Clyde Martin: Mmh, "problem"?
- Alfred Kinsey: When it comes to love, we're all in the dark.
- Clyde Martin: So, you do think it matters?
- Clyde Martin: [re: sexuality chart] So what do you think you are now?
- Alfred Kinsey: [nervously] Probably around a... 3
- Clyde Martin: Have you ever done anything about it?
- Alfred Kinsey: [shakes his head]
- Clyde Martin: Would you like to?
- Alfred Kinsey: The doctors say my heart sounds like a cement mixer.
- Clyde Martin: At least they found one.
- Alfred Kinsey: I'm trying to find out why people hate this book so.
- Clara McMillen: You told them their grandmothers and their daughters are masturbating, having pre-maritial sex, sex with each other. What did you expect?
- Alfred Kinsey: Some respect!
- Alfred Kinsey: Mac, did I ever tell you about the Mbeere?
- Clara McMillen: No, not that I recall.
- Alfred Kinsey: They're an ancient East African tribe. They believe that trees are imperfect men... eternally bemoaning their imprisonment. The roots that keep them stuck in one place. But I've never seen a discontented tree. Look at this one! The way its roots are gripping the ground. I believe it really loves it.
- Alfred Kinsey: I sometimes wonder what this country would look like if the Puritans had stayed at home. What if all the rogues and libertines had crossed the Atlantic instead?
- [from trailer]
- Alfred Kinsey: Love is the answer, isn't it? But sex raises a lot of very interesting questions...
- Alfred Kinsey: Hello, I'm Professor Kinsey form Indiana University and I'm making a study of sex behaviors. Can we sit and talk?
- Effete Man in Gay Bar: I assume you're joking.
- Alfred Kinsey: No, I'm not. I'd be grateful if you'd answer some questions about your sexual history.
- Effete Man in Gay Bar: [to his arriving friend] Mary here is a Professor. She says she wants to study my sex behavior.
- Effete Man's Friend: Well, tell him to stick around and watch.
- Clyde Martin: You know, this thing between Prok and me was fine for a while, but I guess I just really miss sleeping with women.
- Alfred Kinsey: That's perfectly understandable. It's clear from your history you have a greater sexual interest in women than men.
- Clyde Martin: Good. Then you won't mind if I ask Mac to have sex with me. Only if it appeals to you, of course.
- Clara McMillen: Would it be separately or together?
- Clyde Martin: Oh, no, definitely just you and I.
- Clara McMillen: I think I might like that. What do you think, Prok?
- Alfred Kinsey: That very interesting Miss Millen. You've managed to bridge the gap between Darwin and the book of Genesis in a single phrase.
- Alfred Kinsey: I can assure you, there's no relation between oral sex and pregnancy.
- Ben: But, how do you know?
- Alfred Kinsey: How do I know the earth is round? It just is.
- Ben: But, has anyone actually proven that there's no connection?
- Alfred Kinsey: If you're asking if there's been a scientific study devoted to the subject of oral copulation and fertility, well, frankly I don't know.
- Ben: Well, then how can you be sure?
- Alfred Kinsey: I felt like a blundering amateur. I couldn't imagine where those kids' crazy idea came from until I discovered this, "Ideal Marriage: Its Physiology and Technique."
- Clara McMillen: Oh, dear.
- Alfred Kinsey: [reading from the book] "Oral contact, while acceptable as a means of stimulation is pathological if carried through to orgasm and possibly injurious."
- Clara McMillen: I must be in *grave* danger then.
- Alfred Kinsey: You're just afraid that I won't love you anymore, which is impossible Mac. The human animal is capable of all kinds of sexual expression. Not all sex has to be sanctioned by love, enriched by emotion. To the Greeks...
- Clara McMillen: Stop! Stop lecturing, Prok. Stop using science to justify what you've done!