Owen Wilson credited as playing...
Ned Plimpton
- Ned Plimpton: Stevesy, what's going on? Are those hijackers?
- Steve Zissou: Well, out here we call them "pirates," Ned.
- Ned Plimpton: Why didn't you ever try to contact me?
- Steve Zissou: Because I hate fathers, and I never wanted to be one.
- Steve Zissou: [talking about two men who were talking about him] People say that when someone says something like that, it's because they're jealous. But it still hurts. It hurts bad.
- Ned Plimpton: That man was damn rude. He can go straight to hell.
- Ned Plimpton: I'm gonna fight you, Steve.
- [Steve hits Ned in the face]
- Steve Zissou: You never say, "I'm gonna fight you, Steve." You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch him.
- Ned Plimpton: You fight your way, and I'll fight mine.
- Steve Zissou: Oh, listen, Ned. Don't you try to...
- [Ned hits Steve in the face]
- Steve Zissou: I think your Team Zissou ring might've caught me on the lip.
- Steve Zissou: Can you hear the Jack Whales singing?
- Ned Plimpton: [Tanker goes off] Beautiful. I wonder what they're saying.
- Steve Zissou: Well actually that's a Sludge Tanker over there...
- [Several whales sing]
- Steve Zissou: There you go!
- Ned Plimpton: [introducing himself] Captain Zissou my name is Ned Plimpton...
- Steve Zissou: [congratulating him] OK, man.
- Steve Zissou: This bull dyke's got something against us.
- Ned Plimpton: I don't think she's a lesbian. She's pregnant.
- [on a speaker-phone]
- Oseary Drakoulias: I spoke with Larry Amin, and it's a pass.
- Steve Zissou: In other words, you fucked us!
- Oseary Drakoulias: Let's not cast stones at one another, my dear.
- [suddenly mad]
- Oseary Drakoulias: Do you hear me, damn it? Do you?
- Steve Zissou: No, I don't! I told you how to play it!
- Oseary Drakoulias: Oh, bloody hell! You listen here, mate!
- Ned Plimpton: Can I interrupt for a second?
- Oseary Drakoulias: Who the blazes is that?
- Ned Plimpton: It's me, Ned. Maybe this is nothing, maybe it's something. I don't know what your problems are, I don't know... but I just inherited $275,000. Would that amount make any difference?
- [silence]
- Oseary Drakoulias: What sort of expression is the lad wearing on his face?
- [arriving at Alistair Hennessey's underwater sea-lab]
- Ned Plimpton: Who locked us out?
- Anne-Marie Sakowitz: No-one, we're trespassing.
- Ned Plimpton: Steve, are we allowed in here?
- Steve Zissou: It's a scientific community, man.
- Steve Zissou: I hope you're not gonna bust our chops on this on, Bill.
- Bill Ubell: Why would I do that?
- Steve Zissou: Because you're a bond company stooge.
- Bill Ubell: [scoffs] I'm also a human being.
- Steve Zissou: All right, I take that back. How about a little teamsmanship?
- [he holds out his hand flat. Bill and Ned put theirs on top of his]
- Steve Zissou, Bill Ubell, Ned Plimpton: Ho!
- Klaus Daimler: So, you really think you're a Zissou.
- Ned Plimpton: I don't know.
- Klaus Daimler: Well, you traveled a long way for "I don't know," sonny.
- Ned Plimpton: That's true. But it's important to me.
- Klaus Daimler: Yeah? Well, there are a lot of things that are important to some people around here, sonny.
- Ned Plimpton: Klaus, don't call me "sonny."
- Klaus Daimler: And one more thing: It's the Steve Zissou show, not the Ned show.
- [Klaus slaps Ned in the face]
- Klaus Daimler: You hear me?
- Ned Plimpton: Yes, I do.
- [Klaus starts walking away]
- Ned Plimpton: Klaus?
- Klaus Daimler: Ja?
- Ned Plimpton: If you ever touch me again, I will kick your goddamn teeth out. Is *that* understood?
- Klaus Daimler: Not if I don't see you first, sonny.
- Ned Plimpton: You don't know me, you don't want to know me... I'm just a character in your stupid film.
- Steve Zissou: I let you call me Stevesy, didn't I?
- Ned Plimpton: Yeah, but it doesn't mean the same thing...
- Steve Zissou: Would you like to join my crew?
- Ned Plimpton: Would I like to...
- Steve Zissou: I want you, on Team Zissou.
- Ned Plimpton: I don't think I can do that.
- Steve Zissou: Why not?
- Ned Plimpton: Well, it's not my field, I don't have the background for it.
- Steve Zissou: No one here does. Klaus used to be a bus driver, Wolodarsky was a high school substitute teacher. We're a pack of strays, don't you get it?
- Ned Plimpton: Steve I'm not even that strong a swimmer,
- [pause]
- Ned Plimpton: the answer's yes.
- Steve Zissou: Well it's got to be. I'll order you a red cap and a speedo.
- [to Klaus]
- Steve Zissou: Cut.
- Steve Zissou: You're supposed to be my son, right?
- Ned Plimpton: I don't know. But I did want meet you, just in case.