Joel David Moore credited as playing...
Owen
- Casino Worker: [a casino worker and a security guard wheels out a huge treasue chest] Here are your winnings, Mr. La Fleur. Congratuations.
- Peter La Fleur: Right on time. I appreciate it. Thanks, guys.
- White Goodman: [curious with anger] Winnings? What winnings? What winnings? What is that?
- Peter La Fleur: Oh, gosh! I totally forgot to tell you, White. I took the $100,000 bribe you gave me last night and I put on us to win. We were going at fifty to one. Anyone? Top of your head. What's 50 times $100,000?
- Owen: $50,000?
- Kate Veatch: $5 million! Peter, are you kidding me?
- Peter La Fleur: [opens the treasure chest, revealing stacks of cash] Surprise!
- Owen: [after Patches O'Houlihan has been killed] Look on the bright side, at least we've still got Peter!
- Dwight: Yeah, but Globo Gym's got guys named Laser, and Blazer, and Tazer, and all kinds of "azer's"! Without Patches, we're going to get our taints handed to us, that's what!
- Justin: [Whispers to Gordon] What's a taint?
- Gordon: I don't know, but it sounds *bad*!
- Justin: How many teams are in this qualifier?
- Gordon: Uh, two.
- Justin: So all we have to do is beat this team and we're in the Vegas Open, right?
- Gordon: Yeah!
- Owen: That seems pretty simple.
- Dwight: Who's the other team?
- Gordon: Uh, I have it right here, just a second... Troop 417.
- Steve the Pirate: Christ! We're playin' Boy Scouts!
- Peter La Fleur: Not quite!
- [Troop 417 are tough-looking Girl Scouts; one spits on the ground]
- Steve the Pirate: BOLLOCKS!
- [before the championship game]
- Peter La Fleur: Okay guys, let's play smart. Wait for your two-on-ones, cover closely for your pickups. What's our team motto?
- Owen: Aim low?
- Peter La Fleur: That's right. All I'm asking is that you give it your best for Patches. I say we go out there, we let it all hang loose, try to have some fun. I mean, it's only dodgeball, right?
- [Everyone laughs]
- Peter La Fleur: Put 'em in.
- [Hands in]
- Peter La Fleur: One, two, three...
- Peter La Fleur, Owen, Justin, Kate Veatch, Dwight, Gordon: JOE'S!
- Peter La Fleur: There's someone out there for everybody.
- Owen: You think?
- Peter La Fleur: Absolutely. In some cases, there's two somebodies for one person. I like to call that "the jackpot".