Alan Tudyk credited as playing...
Steve the Pirate
- Steve the Pirate: The dread pirate Steve be in no man's debt. I'll make a barter with ya; true as the north star. In exchange for your kindness, I'll be sharing me buried treasure with ya... once I find it, that be.
- Justin: How many teams are in this qualifier?
- Gordon: Uh, two.
- Justin: So all we have to do is beat this team and we're in the Vegas Open, right?
- Gordon: Yeah!
- Owen: That seems pretty simple.
- Dwight: Who's the other team?
- Gordon: Uh, I have it right here, just a second... Troop 417.
- Steve the Pirate: Christ! We're playin' Boy Scouts!
- Peter La Fleur: Not quite!
- [Troop 417 are tough-looking Girl Scouts; one spits on the ground]
- Steve the Pirate: BOLLOCKS!
- Justin: This place is too important to us! Gordon, where do you go when your wife changes the locks?
- Gordon: Average Joe's.
- Justin: Right! Dwight, Owen, what are you going to do if Average Joe's closes? You gonna work at the airport again?
- Dwight: Say what? I ain't working at no airport!
- Justin: No, 'cause you hated it! Steve! Where is it you go to do... whatever it is that you do?
- Steve the Pirate: Garrr! Joe's be the only place for Steve!