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Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear in The Matador (2005)

Pierce Brosnan: Julian Noble

The Matador

Pierce Brosnan credited as playing...

Julian Noble

Photos8

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Quotes26

  • Julian Noble: The margaritas always taste better in Mexico.
  • Danny Wright: They certainly do.
  • Julian Noble: Margaritas and cock.
  • Julian Noble: I'm as serious as an erection problem.
  • Julian Noble: [after flirting with some Mexican schoolgirls] I hate these Catholic countries. All blushy-blushy no sucky-fucky.
  • Julian Noble: Sorry about the cock thing, it's kind of a conversation stopper.
  • [trying to convince Danny to help him on a hit]
  • Julian Noble: Come on! It'll be a good time!
  • Danny Wright: Oh, so now killing people is a good time?
  • Julian Noble: ...Can be.
  • Julian Noble: I'm a big fan of 'the gotta pee' theory of assassination.
  • Julian Noble: I wouldn't do that for all the teenage twat in Thailand.
  • Julian Noble: Just consider me the best cocktail party story you ever met.
  • Julian Noble: I need a break. There's no retirement home for assassins is there? Archery at four. Riflery at five.
  • Julian Noble: Yeah, whatever, goodbye, scoodoodle!
  • Ten Year Old Boy: See you, would'nt wanna be you.
  • Julian Noble: Smell ya, shouldn't have to tell ya.
  • Julian Noble: Danny, Danny! Danny with the large white fanny!
  • Danny Wright: [discussing possible escape routes] That door over there, if it weren't locked.
  • Julian Noble: A Vietnamese girl I once knew had her legs so locked together I couldn't get a whiff of her spring roll. Two drinks, half a quaalude later, I was at an all you can eat buffet. Every lock can be broken. It's just a matter of will and whether it's worth it.
  • Julian Noble: I look like a Bangkok hooker on a Sunday morning, after the navy's left town.
  • Julian Noble: I'd only be interested in your mother if she lost 20 pounds and 30 years.
  • Julian Noble: I lie when I need to, tell the truth when I can.
  • Mr. Randy: Did you study the assignment?
  • Julian Noble: No, I shredded it. Then I humped the bellboy on the room service cart.
  • Mr. Randy: Goddamn it, Julian, you leave the game, even for a while, I don't know if they'll gonna let you back in. And then what the hell are you gonna do? Waste your days picking up illiterate teenagers for suck-and-fuck sessions behind the Old Navy store?
  • Julian Noble: Sounds delightful to me.
  • Julian Noble: Now, escape routes.
  • Danny Wright: Escape routes?
  • Julian Noble: Well you don't want to get caught right?
  • Danny Wright: Oh, right.
  • Julian Noble: Don't get caught. It sucks.
  • Genevive: Mr. Noble, how are you today?
  • Julian Noble: More importantly, how are you...
  • [looks at nametag]
  • Julian Noble: ...Genevive?
  • Julian Noble: An assassin without confidence is a horrible thing to behold. It's like a relief pitcher who fumbles the ball.
  • Danny Wright: Please tell me you know you mixed two sports in a metaphor.
  • Julian Noble: Huh? Yeah, I can't do that.

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