Whiteout

While digesting my Thanksgiving meal, I wanted to watch a good movie in front of the fire on a cold winter night. Whiteout seemed appealing because of the synopsis and the setting. I love the desolate setting of an science facility in the cold lifeless continent of Antartica. There is always something creepy and thrilling about being so far from civilization and life sustaining climate; the movie had a similar creepiness to some other thrillers that take place in deep space. The plot and setting were original, and keep you guessing throughout the movie. The suspense and thrills were more likened to a horror movie or a slasher film, but I say that in a good way. My 17 year old daughter and wife had to turn their eyes away for many scenes in fear and anticipation.

I like to judge movies by what their intent is. I try and compare Old School to Gone with the Wind for example... 2 completely different audiences and intents, but both great movies that deliver what they try to deliver. In my opinion, Whiteout delivered what it tried to deliver, a scary, interesting, beautiful, thrilling escape. Exactly what I wanted to see on a cold Friday night in front of the fire!

The first few minutes of watching Kate Beckinsale stripping was....well, expected and pleasant. But it is becoming routine for her in her movies.

That entire sequence was made to keep us guys interested for the rest of this rather predictable movie. It served no other purpose at all. (Yeah, she's still got an incredible body) This movie has a very simple and uncomplicated plot. Even the "twist" is totally predictable. I knew who the villain was in the first 15-20 minutes of the film.

The movie is paced quite evenly without much up and down except for a rather unusual "action" sequence somewhere in the middle of the film, involving ice-pick, a blizzard (white-out), and a lot of guiding ropes. The action could have been better if not for some blurry fast action moments. I had no idea what happened for a few seconds. they kicked, he fell, she fell....

No surprise at all. Wait for the DVD. This is a good movie to watch on a small screen.

Based on a graphic novel, this tells of Carrie Stetko, a U.S. Marshal on assignment in Antarctica due to her own personal exile. Nearing the end of her tenure in the great white south, she gets sucked into a murder mystery when a body is found on the ice.

I have never read the graphic novel, and if it was as poorly done as this film, I never care to. Pitiful, repetitive dialogue (count the "Oh my God"s), generic music blaring over the scenes on an almost nonstop basis, stiff performances and a mystery that is far from mysterious. The resolution of said mystery leaves you thinking "That's it?" more than anything. The director repeatedly beats us over the head with things that would best be discovered later on, but since we know before the characters, it sucks out any possible suspense there might have been. You can also spot one of the villains based on an old TV show rule.

Whiteout fails to excite or intrigue. It's about as generic as they come. Skip it.

Ever since The Matrix or thereabouts, mainstream action flicks have merged with fantasy. Of course The Matrix had justification, but we've seen the same superhuman, gravity- defying, too-cool-for-school characteristics attach themselves to even ordinary people in ordinary circumstances, and maybe it's gone a little too far. In WHITEOUT, our heroine is *not* a 10th degree black belt, *not* armed with 200 lbs of ammo, *not* able to do backflips over exploding grenades & such things as we've come to expect in movies. Instead, WHITEOUT gives us a somewhat sober & realistic portrayal of what "action" is like in the real world. It's almost like a throwback to the 70s when special effects played a minor role in films, and the human themes were forefront.

I'm not saying either type of film is inherently better than the other; all I'm saying is if you go into this film expecting "Ultraviolet" or "Resident Evil", you will most certainly be put to sleep within the first half hour. If, instead, you go into it expecting something more like the 70s classics "Coma" or "Stepford Wives" (where the heroine is human and fallible), I think you'll really enjoy this.

A lot of the film's power centers around the heroine's human side, and accordingly she reacts in human ways. When seriously injured, she doesn't brush it off with an "I ain't got time to bleed" macho attitude. She doesn't just take a swig of whiskey and calmly perform surgery on herself like we've come to expect from our action heroes. No, she cries like a baby which is what you or I would do if we just got sliced (admit it, tough guys)! She's not some soulless robot who can kill dozens of people without flinching. She, like a real human, carefully considers the repercussions each time she has to pull the trigger. Granted, this slows the pacing of the action considerably, but hey, welcome to the real world.

With all that in mind, the story is pretty basic as far as murder-mysteries-in-the-Antarctic go. But if you focus on the underlying human story instead of the thrills & chills, it's a refreshing change from the cartoony action flicks of recent years. For similar reality checks, I highly recommend "The Merry Gentleman" (crime drama), "Moon" (scifi), and "Exorcist 3" (horror).

Okay, this isn't a Great movie. It's not even a great whodunit. But in a world where old Charlie Chan pot-boilers have a cult following, and boneheaded Spielberg spectaculars are considered works of genius, I'd say that Whiteout definitely has a place.

What did I like about Whiteout? I loved the setting. ANY movie set in the confines of an Antarctic research station is okay with me. (There aren't nearly enough of them!) I loved the characters. Kate Beckinsale isn't in the front ranks of thespians, but she's a solid leading lady, and brings a good mix of likability, vulnerability and toughness to this part. The supporting characters are just fine as well. I loved the idea of setting an action-mystery in this odd locale, and I greatly enjoyed the way the mystery unraveled - predictable though it may have been. And I loved the various ways that the frozen environment is brought in as an element in the story.

What did I hate? Not a thing. True, the cold is not treated realistically. Too many people walking around bareheaded and such. Yes, it's a dopey Hollywood convention. But in a little action flick like this one, I wasn't bothered - at all. Did I hate the acting? No. It was just right for this kind of film. Did I have problems with the writing? Okay... there were a few bits of logic that could have been tighter. But, again, no worse than in many movies that get a 10/10 from every blockhead on Earth. (I won't itemize... this review is going to get enough down-checks as it is.)

Bottom line, Whiteout is a pile of fun. It's a 'genre' film, with few if any artistic pretensions. But it delivers the goods where it counts. I've watched it several times on DVD, and expect to enjoy it quite a few more. If you don't get it, go watch some Merchant-Ivory drawing room masterpiece, and we'll all be happy.