Bianca Kajlich credited as playing...
- Jimmy: It's been 10 weeks since Otis was born and you combine that with the last nine weeks of pregnancy and we haven't done it in almost five months. I miss it in there.
- Beth: I know, it's just... Well, last time it was in there for nine months and it kinda trashed the place.
- Jimmy: OK, fair enough. Any other vacancies in the building?
- [Jimmy wants to have sex]
- Jimmy: I'll take care of him until midnight, even though I get up at four, if you just take one for the team.
- Beth: Take one for the team?
- Jimmy: Yeah. Yeah, you know, like when a baseball player gets hit by a pitch on purpose. It doesn't feel good but you do it for the team.
- Kate: They're dying to see you and your new boobs.
- Beth: They are pretty awesome, aren't they?
- Kate: Yeah. I hate babies but I'm thinkin' about gettin' knocked up just to get a pair.
- Beth: OK, so I left CPR instructions on the counter right next to the number for poison control.
- Jimmy: Poison control? You think I'm gonna poison him?
- Beth: No! But if you do, the number's on the counter.
- Beth: You've seen how tired I am. Sometimes I fall asleep in the middle of a chore.
- Jimmy: Oh, so sex is a chore now?
- Beth: Well you did put it on my to-do list.
- Jimmy: Yeah, and I'm still waitin' for you to do me.
- Beth: We need parent friends. If we had friends with babies, we'd know how they do it.
- Jimmy: Honey, I know how they do it. Same as we did: busted condom.
- Pam: Can you see my nipples in this picture?
- Beth: Nope. No nippage.
- Pam: Damn! I gotta get these reshot. It's for the cover of my demo CD and the title is "Caught in the Headlights!"
- Beth: This is just my "I had no idea you were gay" look.
- Beth: I'm sorry, you just didn't seem... the type.
- Steve: Why, because I don't have six-pack abs? You know, pudgy guys like having sex with men too.
- Pam: It's me, Pam. Open the door, it's an emergency!
- Beth: What's the matter?
- Pam: I'm hungry!
- Pam: I was meetin' a blind date for dinner tonight but there was a problem.
- Beth: What was the problem?
- Pam: He was ugly. And I'm not blind!
- Beth: Did you sleep with any hookers or kill anyone?
- Jimmy: Oh, you got me. I slept with a hooker and then I killed her. And just for fun, I kicked a puppy.
- Pam: Guys are always askin', "How many guys have you been with before me? Be honest." And then you tell'em 28 and suddenly they start lookin at you different.
- Beth: 28?
- Pam: Imagine if I'd told the truth!
- Pam: Why do women start saying things like "diapee" and "poopie" after they have a kid?
- Beth: Sounds better than "feces" and "pee-catcher".
- Beth: I'm a terrible mother!
- Pam: See, that's why I take the pill twice a day. I'm goin to take a bonus one right now.
- Beth: I'm not angry.
- Jimmy: Damn! I was hopin' for make-up sex.
- Beth: You'll find another job.
- Jimmy: Beth, once you've blown chunks in a chopper, there's not a lot of places to go.
- Pam: Beth, you're the boss, and as the boss, it's your job to make him think that he's the boss.
- Beth: What the hell are you talking about?
- Pam: I don't know. I saw it on "Who's the Boss?"
- Beth: So you're sure you're OK with me sticking my nose in your business?
- Jimmy: Oh, yeah! Yeah, I love that... Oh, you mean *business* business.
- Beth: We could have a dinner party. Like, with real grownup conversation and we could finally use our crystal and china and linen napkins. And we'll make a gourmet meal...
- Jimmy: And Jello shots.
- Beth: Yes!
