Tammy Townsend credited as playing...
- [Carl and Pam have sex on a rooftop]
- Carl: So listen, what we did up here tonight, right, qualifies us for the, uh, 800-Foot-High Club.
- Pam: Yeah, but I'm already a member--since 1992.
- Pam: Can you see my nipples in this picture?
- Beth: Nope. No nippage.
- Pam: Damn! I gotta get these reshot. It's for the cover of my demo CD and the title is "Caught in the Headlights!"
- Pam: I often forget guys that annoy me. I call it Pamnesia.
- Pam: Babies, football, and Carl. Who knew they served quiche in hell?
- Pam: It's me, Pam. Open the door, it's an emergency!
- Beth: What's the matter?
- Pam: I'm hungry!
- Pam: I was meetin' a blind date for dinner tonight but there was a problem.
- Beth: What was the problem?
- Pam: He was ugly. And I'm not blind!
- Pam: Guys are always askin', "How many guys have you been with before me? Be honest." And then you tell'em 28 and suddenly they start lookin at you different.
- Beth: 28?
- Pam: Imagine if I'd told the truth!
- Pam: Why do women start saying things like "diapee" and "poopie" after they have a kid?
- Beth: Sounds better than "feces" and "pee-catcher".
- Beth: I'm a terrible mother!
- Pam: See, that's why I take the pill twice a day. I'm goin to take a bonus one right now.
- Pam: Beth, you're the boss, and as the boss, it's your job to make him think that he's the boss.
- Beth: What the hell are you talking about?
- Pam: I don't know. I saw it on "Who's the Boss?"
- Pam: Boy, look at these misfits. This place looks like a 7-11 after midnight.
- Carl: You over here talkin' about me? Cause my ears are burnin'.
- Pam: Must be the Aqua Velva.
- Pam: I don't date guys like him unless they're rich and in very poor health.
- Carl: I wouldn't be so quick to dis me if I were you, Pam.
- Pam: You know what, Carl? You're right. I'll dis you more slowly. Goooooo awaayyyy!
- Carl: I could use a little eye candy in my picture.
- Pam: Well, I'm sorry, Carl, but you're gonna have to find some other eye candy... 'cause ya ain't gonna lick me.
- Pam: When you have a dinner party, I'm there... even though I know Carl's gonna be staring like it's his birthday and my ass is the cake.
- Beth: ...we didn't have sex on our anniversary.
- Pam: Really? Well, even I had sex on your anniversary.
- Pam: Besides, there is nothing sexier than stripping in front of a bunch of strangers. Or people you know. Ah, hell, I guess the key here is just getting naked.
- Pam: Well, hello, my name's Pam. But my stripper name is Pam... demonium. And I'm here because I got the package--I just wanna learn how to deliver it.
- Pam: Oooohh, that woman is hot! You know, I don't swing that way, but if I did... Mmmmmm, Jessica Alba!
