Feeders 2: Slay Bells

The Good News: only 68 minutes long.

The Bad News: its 68 minutes of Polonia video tripe.

These guys should be taken as true encouragement to Indie film producers. If they can sell this offal, then you CAN succeed. Take heart.

The DVD release contains commentaries where the actors/writers/director/cameraman (there appears to only be 4 people involved in total) admits that they spent no money whatsoever. So in light of that, it IS impressive that they could talk anyone into releasing it on DVD. Or maybe they won a lottery and paid someone to do it.

Holy... They made this one even cheaper than the first! I'm not kidding here. This time the barely mobile aliens look like papier mache over lightbulbs! The acting is just as bad, the story just as lame. Worst part: there are flashbacks from feeders! Thanks to Mike, Kevin and Bill this is watchable. Still utterly horrible, but still funny as hell thanks to rifftrax.

Now, I never saw the original- aside from the flashback segment that rehashes footage from the original- but from what I gather, this is a D-grade, straight-to-video release that is all sorts of cheese.

Basically, a family is about to settle down for the night on Christmas Eve, when they are attacked by a bunch of small aliens who have an insatiable taste for blood.

After killing and consuming the neighbours, they start to hone in on the family, which is the family of one of the characters from the original film (or so I gather, at least).

All before they knock Santa out of the sky, as he was passing over their house.

Despite the behest of his family, the man risks his life to "save Santa".

Which is a little odd, as he is back in fighting shape as soon as he gets into the house.

Leave it to Santa to save the day...

Terrible acting aside (other than the kids, bless their souls), the aliens are hilariously bad puppets.

Actually, they are kind of cool when their limbs are being animated...but their faces are just so so bad.

If you can manage to ignore everything that sucks about this film (which is most of it, to be fair)...it does has a sort of charm to it.

Almost as if it was made by one family as a project over Christmas, or something.

I'm not goiong to lie...if you can sell yourself that lie, it's much more palatable than knowing people went through considerable effort to make this "vision" a reality.

You'd think they had no budget at all, if it weren't for the fact they are rocking some fledgling cgi graphics up in there with UFO.

All-in-all it's pretty much a bad film all-around.

But worth a watch if you are looking for some pure 90's straight-to-vhs Christmas horror cheese.

2 out of 10.

I had the priviledge of seeing this film at a local film festival in Cincinatti. This film is like no other on Earth. It is completely breathtaking in its utter awe and beauty.

When you see the little aliens for the first time, you will be amazed by the magnificent special effects. I have heard rumors that $150,000,000 went into designing the aliens alone.

The acting is nothing short of supreme. Breathtaking performances define this film. You will be moved to tears by the hilarious comedy scenes and the horrible tragedies the characters face. Truly, this is acting worthy of Shakespeare himself.

Then there is the musical score. Your ears will jump with joy when you hear the music. The sound is absolutely Oscar-worthy.

There's no other way to put it. Feeders 2: Slay Bells is sure to be remembered as one of the finest films of the 20th century.

First, I saw Feeders 1, and it's terrible, but Feeders 2 makes that one look like Citizen Kane. Parts of this movie I couldn't believe what I was watching. This can't be real. Or, am I sure I'm sober? Or sane?

There's a new style of Feeder alien that looks like a spray painted Styrofoam ball on a bamboo skewer. Special effects, not special, or effects. Aliens can be defeated with toys from Dollar Tree. The acting and dialogue are atrocious, but it's obvious they know all this. It doesn't take itself seriously, it's pure camp, so it's not unfun in a weird way. Positives: It has a plot, it's short, and good for a laugh.

Feeders 2 is so bad it inspired me to think I could make a movie with the change in my couch cushions as I'm sure it has other people. So, that can be another good thing. I give them credit for trying.