Penetration Angst

This is not a XXX-porno but it is hard to describe this movie without using words that will be deleted from a censorship. It is a Ken Russelleque movie about every kind of sexual addiction and this is really funny!!! It is horror with a lot of fun, maybe a little bit to long, but what shells? You will see more than three scenes that you will never forget and the actress is beautiful - ACHTUNG! It is very british but nothing for the society of Merchant/Ivory-fans!!!

"Penetration Angst" is a low budget British film, made in 2003 by Wolfgang Buld. Until I stumbled across this little gem on the new UK Horror Channel a few years ago, I hadn't even been aware it existed. Now it's been catapulted to the heights of one of my low budget guilty pleasures, an area populated by the likes of "Hot Love", "Bride of Frank", etc.

This is a film that's a fine cocktail of modern horror, comedy and low-brow humour. There are some areas which plough the depths of bad taste - in short, it's thoroughly enjoyable. That's the beauty of the low budget film - no big studios that require satisfaction, just good old independent movie making with a good slice of originality and an eye for the all-night horror convention audience's tastes. Yep, I loved this film. Sat in the comfort of my armchair, I knew from the very start that this was one of those films that showed 2 big fingers to the world of Hollywood horror and instead decided to concentrate on a thoroughly British tale of armed robbery, Siamese twins and a woman with a man-eating vagina.

The star of the movie, Fiona Horsey, is very easy on the eye. In fact, she's a compete babe. A great new talent and hopefully a name to watch out for in the future.

To describe the plot details would spoil the surprises. If you have a chance, grab the film when you can and sit down with friends and a few beers and give it a go. If you're a fan of "Bad Taste", "Bride of Frank" or "Basket Case", I think you'll like this film...a lot.

"Penetration Angst" is a very low-budget film directed by Wolfgang Büld. It has a promising story – there's a beautiful girl with a carnivorous vagina. She lives in London, her name is Helen (Fiona Horsey), and her good looks transform her into a lethal weapon – her way is strewn with corpses and blood. Some people will think that "Penetration Angst" is a carnival of sleaze and gore, but nothing of the sort. Fiona Horsey is very easy on the eyes, all along the film she's seen wearing scanty clothes, and some bits of nudity (body parts) are shown and that's that. As to gore, no, no, nothing - we see just the remaining clothes, the owner has disappeared. There was not enough money for the special effects. Anyway, in what concerns sex, one can't say the film is not erotic – Fiona Horsey and, sometimes other girls, take care of that.

I think that "Penetration Angst" was inspired by "Baby Blood"(France, 1990), only "Baby Blood" is a much better film. It tells the story of a pretty woman that works in a circus – one night when she's sleeping she's penetrated by a weird snake. From then on, she carries within her an alien being that will demand blood and more blood. So she will attract men to their doom – she seduces them with her beauty and she kills them. She needs blood to keep her creature alive. This is not done of her free will – her alien baby has a hold on her.

Wolfgang Büld adapted the story and transformed the "alien baby" into a carnivorous vagina – not a bad idea at all! If he had developed more his ideas and there had been more freedom (the film was made in the UK and had to be approved by the BBFC), then maybe he could have given us a genre masterpiece. As it is, the film is entertaining, with some touches of comedy, the girls are pretty and the story is ridiculous as it should be.

A traumatic childhood experience has left attractive brunette Helen (Fiona Horsey) with serious intimacy issues, but matters are made much worse when she is raped by her boyfriend and finds that she possesses the sexual equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle between her legs—any man who dares venture near her voracious vagina vanishes without trace! After a catastrophic visit to the gynaecologist that sees her cooch claim another victim, the distraught Helen leaves for London, with concerned love-struck loser Dennis (Paul Conway) in hot pursuit.

Not content with Penetration Angst simply exploring the age-old vagina dentata myth, writer/director Wolfgang Büld also sees fit to add several equally bizarre subplots, including Dennis's awkward relationship with Siamese twin Sylvia (Amy Steel), and a pub stripper planning an armed robbery on the Isle of Wight; the result is a chaotic, darkly humorous film full of violence and nudity (with Horsey spending much of her time naked) that delivers messed-up madness by the bucket-load, but which tries a touch too hard to accommodate every twisted idea that Büld could come up with.

At 102 minutes long, the film ultimately outstays its welcome (it could do with being at least fifteen minutes shorter) but not before delivering such delightfully deranged moments as Dennis accidentally shagging Sylvia's sister and separating the girls with an electric bread-knife, a man pulled tongue first into Helen's insatiable snatch (which moans 'Feeed meee' just like Audrey II in The Little Shop of Horrors), a newlywed Helen being humped by her father-in-law (with inevitable results), and Dennis applying yogurt to his sun-burnt bell-end.

If you are looking for something "leftfield" and not too serious, then this is the film for you. It's not going to win any awards for acting and the script is at times wayward and unnecessary but it's fun nonetheless. I probably would have enjoyed this more if they had cut the running time down to around 60-70 minutes and therefore cutting out chunks that were just padding out the film (the cellar scene and most of the last segment of film in particular). I've given this film 6 out of 10 because for me it wasn't sharp enough at times and it seemed to lose it's way towards the end. Otherwise it's a worthy watch and throws up some memorable scenes.

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