Snoop Dogg credited as playing...
Captain Mack
- Captain Mack: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached our cruising altitude of 33 thousand feet... 33 THOUSAND FEET? Oh shit, man! We fuckin' higher than Redman at the Source Awards!
- Captain Mack: Hey, y'all, what's crack-a-lackin'? This is your Soul Plane chauffeur, Captain Antoine Mack speaking... Welcome aboard NWA flight 069 from the 3-1-0 to the 2-1-2. It's time to bust this coney y'all. In a hot second, I'll be hittin' them switches and gettin' this bitch pumpin' and jumpin'. So screw your shit on tight and enjoy the flight.
- Gaeman: Please, man, I...
- Captain Mack: What part of "You ain't flying this motherfuckin' plane" don't you understand? Sit the fuck back and enjoy the flight, Idi Amin!
- Captain Mack: Hey, where the cockpit at?
- Muggsy: You got that bong?
- Captain Mack: Whole bag of it, Preach.
- Captain Mack: Look here, partner, don't worry about me bein' late. What I'm gonna do here, I'm gonna take this hooptie of yours up another thousand feet, catch me a slipstream, and we gonna be there five minutes early. You know, real slick like hair grease, but with less mess. Can you dig it?
- Nashawn: Where's your uniform at, man?
- Captain Mack: You lookin' at it. The Mackin' is crackin'. This is how I come. I don't wear no square suits. I'm a player. We ride spinners. We ride spinners.
- Captain Mack: Attention, all players. The upper deck will be open for your enjoyment. We have a passenger who just turned 18 years old. Her name is Heather Hunkee. And she is one cute little hottie with a whole lotta body. Oh, yeah. She'll be upstairs, so all players come up and keep her company.
- Captain Mack: I'm gonna put this bitch on autopilot - so I can enjoy myself. Captain Mack need to just kick back and enjoy this motherfuckin' sit-u-a-tion.
- Captain Mack: This motherfuckin' bitch wants some more child support money 'cause she heard I got this job. I can't believe these hos nowadays.
- Captain Mack: Hey, man. This motherfuckin' cheap ass airline stole my shit. I know I shoulda went to Jet Black.
- Nashawn: I was lookin' at your resumé, man. I see here that you flew in Desert Storm. That's pretty impressive.
- Captain Mack: No, actually homey, that's a typo. I drew over in Desert Storm.
- Nashawn: I'm sorry. I didn't - what? What'd you say?
- Captain Mack: I was the nigga that drew the little sayin's on the bombs: "Fuck Iraq." "Saddam, Eat a Dick." You know what I'm sayin'? That was me. Secret agent. Matter of fact, I ain't even 'posed to be talkin' about that right now. That's classified.
- Captain Mack: [walks in the cockpit] This is some cool shit - fit for a real nigga. Hey, what's poppin', my aeronautical hustlers? Captain Mack, reportin' to duty.
- Riggs: How you doin'. Captain? I'm Riggs. your flight engineer. Have you ever met Gaeman?
- Captain Mack: Yeah, man, I just seen one of them fruity motherfuckers in the hallway. That nigga was eyeballin' me.
- Gaeman: It's Gaeman, I am Leslie Gaeman, your copilot.
- Captain Mack: What's happenin'?
- Gaeman: It's a very prestigious African name - not like "gay man," like two men fucking together, naked, in a bedroom. Not me.
- Captain Mack: Whatever, homey.
- Gaeman: I like pussy like you.
- Captain Mack: I can dig it.
- Gaeman: Yeah, you can dig it. Everybody will be pregnant by the end of this flight.